Look forward to the Lord's coming

"Be patient, then, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. See how the sower waits for the precious fruits of the earth, looking forward patiently to the autumn and spring rains. You also be patient and do not lose heart, because the Lord's coming is near.

Beloved, do not fight among yourselves and you will not be judged. See, the judge is already at the door. Take for yourselves, as an example of patience, the suffering of the prophets who spoke in the Lord's name. See how those who were patient are called blessed. You have heard the patience of Job and know how the Lord dealt with him in the end. For the Lord is merciful and shows compassion." (James 5:7-11)

So I choose to be patient and to offer each day to Him.

#1 priority: Doing the will of the Father

What exactly does the Father want me to do?

Know Him, love Him, serve Him. Remain faithful in the little things. Be joyful. Give of myself to others. Trust Him. Be thankful. Forgive. Share the beautiful things about my faith with those who need to hear it.

He doesn't want me to stress out or worry about anything. He doesn't want me to be afraid. He most especially doesn't want me to give the devil any room to work in my life, in my heart, or in my head. I have to let God fill every part of me so that He can be given charge of everything I have and everything I am.

Before I even plan my days, I need to be mindful of where I want to go. I need to set my eyes on Heaven and let my love for God direct my actions and decisions. And I need to - above all else - just let Him love me.

You would think that would be easy, but it isn't.

So I just pray. I pray that I will be able to open my heart to Him more each day...it is my constant prayer because I've written it down many times before.

What does this have to do with the To-do List I mentioned a couple of entries ago?

Lots.

My life has to have purpose.

No, I'm not doing great things in the world where people will put my name in lights...nor am I beautiful enough to have my face filling magazine covers or movie screens. So being that as it may, what goals do I have for myself?

I want to do His will.

I want to live my life and order my days according to His plan, where I don't miss opportunities to meet Him in the people I work with, in the students I teach, in those we outreach to in the community. I want to be completely free of the chains that have wound their way around my heart for much of my life...to know that I am making progress when it comes to love...to give chunks of my heart away without expecting anything back in return.

Still feel like a bit of a mess, but that's okay. Fr. Scott always told me that mess is good, in the sense that you know that the more you work at it, the closer you'll get to some sort of order.

Today's AFF session was good. I trusted and I prayed and I found myself smiling. Then I remembered the rainbow I saw last week over Knickerson Gardens as I thanked God for being wherever I went. When you are conscious of His presence all around you, you never get lonely.

How beautiful is that?

So I shall continue on for the rest of my day, grateful for what He's given me...particularly thankful for a conversation I had an hour ago with a very good friend of mine. It was much needed. It was getting much too painful to hold it all in. Whew.

Those random phone calls are truly emotional life-savers.

It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. Maybe I should write that 97 more times to drill it in my head. Or maybe I should just leave for Mass now and give it all it Jesus.

Good idea. =)