Fire tries iron

So interesting what sparks and inspires the soul to get up and move again...to realize that something needs to be done for its own renewal...even if its "coming around" is triggered by a flood of tears flowing through the cracks of a broken heart.

CONSECRATION...nothing without You, Lord...stay humble and little...let Thy Name be praised, not mine; let Thy work be magnified, not mine; let Thy Holy Name be blessed, but let nothing be attributed to me of the praise of men....seeking to be poor in earthly things, but rich in grace and virtue...precious and beloved in the sight of God...as my life on earth continues facing the temptations that show me who I truly am...striving to learn what is the acceptable and perfect will of God for the beginning and the perfection of every good work.

ONCE UPON A TIME...has come and gone. Life, in all its dynamic changes, is never the same. We can wish for the simpler days to return, but what wisdom we would lose in the experiences we have gained. I want my relationship with Him to be what it needs to be for the stage and vocation I am in right at this very moment. How I longed for the "self" I had been when I had first fallen in love with Him, when everything was so exciting and new...but I now understand that I must desire a deeper commitment that reaches beyond the feelings...a faith that keeps me FAITHFUL...a love that I continue to choose every day, no matter which direction the winds may blow. And this relationship cannot be dependent on the people in my life...though they are so special and helpful in my walk with Christ...but when they leave or take different paths, in the end it's just Him holding my hand...keeping my eyes set on the promise of Heaven.

How incredibly blessed I am because He loves me. I am smiling because He is filling the God-shaped hole in my heart with Himself. And that's exactly what I needed...

Thank you, Jesus.

Tidbits

CONSECRATION...Day 1 - asking for a pure heart...Day 2 - asking for humility...Day 3 - judge not, and don't be afraid to seek from God what I need. Praise God for spiritual munchies. My soul was hungry, and I'm so happy that there's always food around to satisfy us. It was really nice visiting Jesus at St. Dominic's for the first time with Meleana, even if it was for just a few minutes...

CHOICES...not everyone is going to agree with what we do, how we raise our families, and decisions we make in life. When we started our journey as parents, I had to accept the fact that certain family members would be in stark opposition to the direction we were headed in. Sometimes I have to beg God for the patience when we are told that our methods are wrong or we are making poor choices, and I constantly need the humility to just zip it when I am personally being criticized. Honestly, it hurts because we don't try to intrude into other people's business...we only offer support where we know it fits best and is most needed. I think every family feels what I feel to an extent...some maybe more than others...and it's hard...but thank God for good advisors and priests...and most especially for the peace that comes when you know you are really okay in His eyes. So (*sigh*) I'm letting it go...

E-PORTFOLIO...I actually finished it two weeks ago. It's not the most elaborate website, but it sums up the last two years of my educational experience at LMU. Since my core subject (Religion) isn't part of the CA Credential Subject Requirements and Standards, I focused much of the evidence and assessments on Language Arts, but since I am a Catholic school teacher, I had to sprinkle it with mention of God's place in this particular ministry. He's why I'm here, so of course I had to give him credit. =) Now I'm officially done with my Master's program, but I just have to finish up two more portions of the credential. This means I need to continue teaching for another two school years...which wasn't in the original plan, but it'll all work out somehow. All in God's time... Here's the link to the ePortfolio, if you want to check it out! http://msdyogi.googlepages.com/

VACATION...is almost over. =p I've needed the rest because the past two months have been exhausting without having to teach, for various reasons...I'm hoping that I'll get a burst of energy when I'm back with the kids, but I will miss being with my baby. How the heart aches...moms who work know what I'm talking about!

Okay, time to go. Nice to blog a bit again...I'll be back again later!