“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. " - Yoda

Most important one

I gave this book to Leo as a graduation present a couple of years ago, and last year I asked for it from my Kris Kringle. If you want a simple book that helps you with life's greatest questions, this is a keeper. It isn't religious per say but for those who wonder whether or not they are following the will of God, it gives you a very practical yet humble way of looking at your purpose in life. I've always been one to plan where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, but circumstances have taught me that this moment is most important. Who you are with at that moment matters the most, and nothing else.

I guess this entry comes from the fear that in waiting for Heaven here on earth, so many opportunities to "meet Jesus" would pass me by. I long to be a very "now" kind of Christian who appreciates what has happened and what is to come yet doesn't allow the past or the future to rob me of the present.

This makes me think of an Augustinian priest - a friend of Fr. Kevin's - who visited for a short time and gave really cool talks with really cool pictures. He spoke of these matters and reminded us that we shouldn't get too caught up in everything we have to do and everything we want to plan. It's those times when I truly relished in the moment...like on my wedding day...that I felt as through I was really LIVING life.

On another note, last night at confession, the priest told me to have a conversation with myself, asking myself why I fall into particular sinful tendencies. When I thought about it, the answers came immediately and from an "outsider's" viewpoint, it didn't make sense. So I had a talk with me. It was a good short talk. Not lengthy at all. It was very practical and straight to the point. I will always struggle with imperfections, but if I take more time to sit with Jesus...if I take more time to think about my actions...if I take more time to pray...and if I ask for more and more humility and grace, God will help me.

I just want to be simple...

"The greatest greatest honor God can do for a soul is not to give it much, but to ask much of it."
~ St. Therese of Lisieux

By His stripes we are healed

V. We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you.

R. Because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world.

Not the first to struggle and definitely not the last. Others have fought and won. Many have tried and lost, but I look to the ones who have gained victory through you. When I look upon your holy wounds, I dare not say that my life is too hard or my cross to heavy. I cannot cry out and blame you for anything I have suffered. There is no reason to walk away...there never has been. How can I bear the name "Christian" and live in this world serving myself? This life...it doesn't even belong to me. When it's over, what will be left but my soul searching for its true home? This path...you have paved it for me and placed along the way some obstacles, some challenges, some thorns...but how many roses have I picked that have blessed my life with beauty?

I'm hungry

...and this is what I want to eat.

I know, I know. Not your typical Lenten entry. Let's try again...

Water for the spirit

Without prayer nothing good is done. God's works are done with our hands joined, and on our knees. Even when we run, we must remain spiritually kneeling before Him.
– Bl. Luigi Orione

Much to do while much is being done. Never enough time but now always seems to be the best moment to stop and appreciate what He has given to us.

Jana and I talked a lot about a lot of things. But what most interesting were those brief pauses of silence in the conversation that were filled with peace. That's when you know you have made at true friend...when it's quiet and you're still comfortable. I also found it comforting that we think of each other...like a reaching out for the other when they are not there. She's a very special spiritual friend. Spiritual friends are hard to come by. Of course you have those you worship with and serve with, but there are those few whom you seek out when you're straining to hear the voice of God or those who really let you know that you're not crazy. Of those two years I spent passing through Verbum Dei on to the rest of my life, she is one of the people who has stayed with me. I said that I wondered what our conversations would be like ten years from now, but what I really can't wait for is the eternity I will spend with friends like her, sharing the lessons we learned while we were on earth.

It's kind of hard to fathom that, but...not really.

Thanks, Jana. Here's to not being "normal". =) I love you, my friend.

Cost of Discipleship

Whoever wishes to carry the cross for his sake must take up the proper weapons for the contest, especially those mentioned here. First, diligence; second, distrust of self; third, confidence in God; fourth, remembrance of Passion; fifth, mindfulness of one's own death; sixth, remembrance of God's glory; seventh, the injunctions of Sacred Scripture following the example of Jesus Christ in the desert.
– St. Catherine of Bologna

Lessons from the weekend...

• He loves me
• ...therefore, I must love myself as He loves me.
• I don't have to do anything to earn His love or get more of it...I just have to be me.
• There is nothing I experience that He cannot understand.
• If I were a first-century catechumen carrying the amount of fear that I have today, someone would have to challenge me and remind me that baptism could equal death.
• As a baptized Catholic, I must pray for the courage of the early Christian martyrs.
• If I was called to be a prophet, apostle, or teacher, I must remember: Blessed are those who are persecuted in My name...Take up your cross and follow Me...Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
• Jesus did not come here to be liked by everyone; He came here to speak the Truth.

"I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, nor of me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God." (2Tim 6-8)