"We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that's all right, everything is all right. We must say, 'I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.' And this is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord."
– Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

Until next time

The door that welcomed me...


The heart who served with me...


The sisters who inspired me...


Never knowing what to expect but always expecting to find Him there.

100% commitment.

+BiL

I miss blogging

Now that I'm out in Culver City, I don't really get to see anyone or talk to them that much. The visits home are becoming less frequent and everyone's lives are so busy that it's hard to find time to even catch up on the phone. Mommy called me last week because she hadn't heard from me in a while...I think she was a little worried. First month out of the house was hard, but it's so easy for me to get caught up with work and let it distract me. And of course there are days when the tears start welling up in my eyes because I'm having "Leilani withdrawals". =)

At the same time, I'm growing to really like the change.

I like how my days are so simple. While I was still on vacation, I would hang out at the apartment just getting settled in...driving to Buena Park a few times a week...meeting Gary back home for dinner and walking to Mass everyday at 5:30. I love how we live so close to a church. It's something I always wanted. Being that we can't live on Juan St. In Hawaiian Gardens, this is the next best thing for now. Then we'll have dinner and hang out, get ready for bed, pray and go to sleep.

This past week was pretty hectic because we started faculty meetings at St. Jerome on Monday and school on Wednesday. Honestly, I was really nervous and a little overwhelmed because I forgot how much there is to do as a Junior High Catholic school teacher, but after the first day I remembered how much I loved it. I have 37 seventh graders, plus the 6th and 8th graders for Religion. Going from one section of 10 freshmen at Verb to a class size that big was a little scary for me since I haven't been in that kind of classroom environment for three years, but once I learned all their names, it was great.

I'm excited.

It might take me some time to get a routine down because I can't be working 10-11 hours every day for the rest of the school year. Once I've built my curriculum, though, it should get better. These upcoming weeks will be the real challenge when we're going for full days. Please pray that my energy stays up...

All in all, I'm happy.

I wonder about how my boys are doing at Verb, though. And I miss chatting with Jana and Brandi and Br. Rich whenever they would come to visit the Student Life Center. Michael sent me an email the other day...it made me smile. They all just have their special way of tugging at your heart strings. Amazing how just a few years at that school had made such a big difference to me.

I feel so blessed that I want to cry. Gary's deep sense of appreciation is rubbing off on me because he's said that before, too.

God brought all the pieces together just like He said He would.

At the Days Retreat last weekend while talking to Pia, I discovered all that I had been searching for during my own retreat was given to me so generously wrapped in the love of God. For all the hurt that my heart was experiencing and the weakness my body had to endure...for all the anxiety and uncertainty I couldn't seem to shake...He had filled me to overflowing with the grace of truly understanding "Basta Ikaw". Three and a half years later, I knelt there in front of Him so grateful for the consolation I had received through the many people who have been part of my walk...most of whom were present on the day that I would seal my commitment with Gary to God.

Tito Raol said it best: "Now there are two of you, not only one." It sounds like such a simple statement but I knew exactly what he meant by it. I'm strengthened and sanctified by him, more so in the realization that there is so much we can do together. Granted that there will be times when physically he cannot be with me, nor I with him, it is this love that has helped me open my heart to the world again.

Lourdes coral grotto at St. Michael's, Kona, HI

So nice to be back...

...in the Disco
...in the classroom
...at home with my family.

I'd spent most of my life trying to find a place where I belonged. This past week I realized that everything about where I'm at and who I'm with feels so incredibly "right". Like this is how it was all planned out.

And it was.

A few years ago when I had so many questions about my future, people would tell me, "Maybe God's doing something really special for you. He's got something exciting waiting for you...someone who will love you...a life filled with joy...a vocation to do something great. Maybe He'll let you do it all...everything you've always wanted to do."

I didn't understand back then.

Now it couldn't be more clear.

My life has changed so much during the past few months, but somehow - strangely enough - much of it has stayed the same.

I love being married. It comes with a lot of adjustments, especially for me...but it's true, there is a lot of grace in the Sacrament. I can't say too much about it right now, except that I'm so glad God gave me the courage to trust Him. It's been a beautiful journey with Gary so far. We have our challenges, like everyone does, but God really helps us get past them and learn from what we experience together.

So tonight I say thank you, and I pray for the continuous gratitude that will keep our relationship strong.