New meaning to the question "Why?"

BANDA ACEH, Indonesia - Mourners in Sri Lanka used their bare hands to dig graves Tuesday while hungry islanders in Indonesia turned to looting in the aftermath of Asia's devastating tsunamis. Thousands more bodies were found in Indonesia, dramatically increasing the death toll across 11 nations to more than 52,000.

But the ministry said it had not yet counted deaths along the inundated and shattered towns of Sumatra's western coast, which soldiers and rescue workers were unable so far to reach — including the district of Meulaboh, where earlier the head of another agency estimated that 10,000 people were killed.

"Is this the fate that we had planned for? My darling, you were the only hope for me," cried one man for his dead girlfriend — his university sweetheart — as Buddhist monks held prayer nearby.

In Sri Lanka, more than 300 people crammed into the Infant Jesus Church at Orrs Hill, located on high ground from their ravaged fishing villages. Families and childres slept on pews and the cement floor.

"We had never seen the sea looking like that. It was like as if a calm sea had suddenly become a raging monster," said one woman, Haalima, recalling the giant wave that swept away her 5-year-old grandson, Adil.

Adil was making sandcastles with his younger sister, Reeze, while Haalima sat in her home Sunday morning. Haalima said the girl ran to her complaining that waves had crushed their castles, then came screams and water entered the home. "When we looked, there was no shore anymore and no Adil," she said.

Amid the devastation, however, were some miraculous stories of survival. In Malaysia, a 20-day-old baby was found alive on a floating mattress. She and her family were later reunited. A Hong Kong couple vacationing in Thailand clung to a mattress for six hours.

A blond two-year-old Swedish boy, Hannes Bergstroem, found sitting alone on a road in Thailand was reunited with his uncle, who saw the boy's picture on a Web site.


Rich and poor...the known and the unknown...all have been affected. The communal struggle continues as many lie in wait for aid to come. Thousands are still missing or unreachable. Nevertheless, many have been spared.

This puts your "whys" into perspective, doesn't it? Yes, this tragedy is doing the same for many other souls around the world. You who have chosen to unite yourselves with the remaining survivors at last see your own worries and concerns as nothing but a trifle compared to what your Southeast Asian brothers and sisters now have to face.

It is always good to be drawn out of yourself and reflect on the crosses of others. You will never again be selfish or ungrateful if in one way or another you attempt to help those who need more than you do.

Everyone has their stories of suffering and triumph. You have yours. They will have theirs. Just know that there will be more opportunities. Why? You said it yourself some time ago...you must plant thorns in order to get roses.

You're praying for miracles, little one, and they are being granted this very moment.

Trust and believe. The roses will bloom.

Drawing the world together

"The United States dispatched disaster teams and prepared a $15 million aid package to the Asian countries, and the 25-nation European Union promised to quickly deliver $4 million. Japan, China and Russia were sending teams of experts.

Egeland said he expected hundreds of relief airplanes from two dozen countries within the next 48 hours. "

When one part hurts, the whole body suffers. Yet there is always a greater good that comes out of deep pain and brokeness. This help is prayer answered. The world is not all bad because people still care enough to reach out. Not everyone may believe what you do, but God is nevertheless using them to bring hope and healing to those in despair. Compassion is ingrained in the human heart. Immediate action is the result of complete unselfishness without thought of the weight of sacrifice.

So keep praying. Pray that the relief teams are given the courage to face the magnitude of suffering they will encounter...that they will be the hands, the feet, and most of all the heart of Jesus to every soul they meet. Pray that this experience will change their own lives as they serve, and when they return home, that they will have a much deeper appreciation for what they have and who they have been blessed with.

And you, little one - do not waste your time on trivial things. You need to be free enough to move graces around the world...to also pray that more people will join you as intercessors...that the entire world will be moved to turn to God in this global heartache. Death and loss are never easy, and when it occurs in such extreme cases, it is only the grace of God that can carry the survivors through their grief.

For all the souls who have entered purgatory, O Lord, deliver them.

AN ANGEL HAS BEEN THERE
Into each life some tears much fall;
Our hearts may sometimes break.
And sorrows come to one and all,
For all must give and take.
But God never leaves us hopeless;
He listens to each prayer,
And when we're filled with peacefulness,
An Angel has been there.
- Clay Harrison

Carrying the world in your prayers

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka - Legions of rescuers spread across Asia Monday after an earthquake of epic power struck deep beneath the Indian Ocean, unleashing 20-foot tidal waves that ravaged coasts across thousands of miles and killed more than 13,340 people and left millions homeless in the fourth-largest temblor in a century.

People are dying every day. Today, it was over 13,340 all at the same time. There you are sitting in your warm bed, with your family safe and healthy. For so many others, it is not the same case.

Pray...that the Indian and Indonesian people will find comfort in their suffering...that those who have lost loved ones will have peace in their grief...that all will be drawn closer to God in the aftermath of this disaster.

If it were you, it would not be as easy. If this happened in California and you survived, how would you feel? Complete horror. Shocked to the point of numbness. Everything lost, including family and friends...gone.

Would you still hold on to your faith?

You cannot be there to help, but you can pray for restoration. It will take time...much time. You have always been called to intercede for those who cannot find it in their hearts to pray, so here is your job. There are many right now who are finding it very hard to turn to God.

Stand in the gap. Graces will flow. It doesn't matter how far away you are. You will be doing more good than you know.

Begin now. Nine days. For the good of those you have never met. They will be there to thank you someday.

Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary

You don't know what to say because there is nothing to say. You just give...offer...surrender...sacrifice. Take your heart and simply place it in the hands of Mary so that she will generously pass it on to Jesus. She does not hold anything for herself, and in this is your great example.

This is what you are doing for young Jeremiah. It is what you shall do for every single person in your life.

The most beautiful act of charity is bringing a soul to Christ. Here God has granted you a way in which you can do so with anyone you wish. Use it. Propogate it. Teach others about it so that they, too, will reap the Fruit of the Tree. Pray that many people will find the value, consolation and joy in belonging to Jesus and Mary.

It is very appropriate that your date of consecration is Christmas Day because it is a gift you give to the two most wonderful people who ever lived. You are coming back to its true meaning by celebrating the Celebrant and honoring the Woman whose "Yes" made it all possible.

There is still much work to do in your heart, as you have been feeling discouraged by your own failings, but know that you are resting in the mercy of God. When Peter approached Mary in sorrow for his denial of Jesus, he was giving himself to her so that he may come back to Him. You will make mistakes. You will not always love as you should. But every time you, too, approach Mary with a contrite spirit, she will help you overcome the disappointment you have in yourself...the heavy sadness that tempts you to feel you cannot ever be a saint.

The key to all this, little one, is prayer. Prayer, remember, is simply lifting your heart to God with all its hopes and aspirations...with all its joys and sorrows...successes and apparent failures. When you pray, God cannot help but hear you because He loves you. He will never be deaf to your cry. The Father most especially looks upon you with so much joy when you remember Him and His goodness.

Be patient with yourself, and be patient with others. You know what you were all made to be but only God knows what each soul needs to be purified. Temptation and sin are very real. The spiritual battle over souls wages on. But trust and believe that even as you are wounded...even when you are lost...He lays His claim on you.

Virtue is your weapon, your shield, your inspiration, and your prize because in attaining virtue you reach Christ and fight valiantly for Him.

You try your best and that's all you can really give. Criticize yourself less and praise Him more. Be mindful of your sins and root them out, but always fill the holes with the great love He has for you. Do not give the enemy room to plant more weeds.

The fastest way he extinguishes the light of God in your soul is to make you believe that it isn't there.

There is only one Truth and it is Christ. You belong to Him and His Mother. You were made by a God who has given you more than anyone in this world ever can. You are supported by all the faithful saints who have gone before you...who journeyed as you are in the grace of God through this pilgrim country to the eternal Homeland.

Your strength is in your God. Your consolation is in His Mother. Your power is in His Spirit. Your destination is His dwelling place. Each step of the pathway is your "fiat".

AMDG +JMJ

Eucharist in Mary and Through Mary

"Finally, we must do everything for Mary. We take Mary for our proximate end, our mysterious intermediary and the easiest way of reaching him. Relying on her protection, we should undertake and carry out great things for our noble Queen. We must defend her privileges when they are questioned and uphold her good name when it is under attack. We must attract everyone, if possible, to her service and to this true and sound devotion. As a reward for these little services, we should expect nothing in return save the honour of belonging to such a lovable Queen and the joy of being united through her to Jesus, her Son, by a bond that is indissoluble in time and in eternity."
- from True Devotion to Mary (265)

This preparation culminates in the Blessed Sacrament with Mary as the Tabernacle...Jesus as the fruit with Mary as the tree...He as the sacrifice and she as the hands that offered Him up. Are you ready to receive...to commit...to lift up...to die...to rise...in them, with them and for them?

I ask again, how is your heart? What are you thinking and experiencing right now? You notice that you don't feel much of anything. You actually are not supposed to either way. By now you understand that making the choice to give yourself to someone isn't about the feelings at all. It's like you said, the proof of someone's love for you will be the choice they make to pick up your cross and help you carry it. There isn't much value for "falling head over heels in love". The evidence will be their joining you along your passion because you will also choose to join them along theirs.

The same stands for your relationship with Christ. He wants to know as He asks you, too - "Do you love Me?" Your words and sentiments will surely make Him smile, but it is your presence with Him on Calvary that brings the most joy to His heart. Mary is not noted in Scripture to say very much, but she is there at the major milestones of salvation history: the fall of Man, the life of Christ, the death of Christ, the resurrection of Christ, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost, the growth of the early Church. And she will be there in the end, which will mark the birth of the new Jerusalem, as it is called. She lives her Fiat. So should you, little one. This will be your soul's greatest fulfillment - to move in the holy will of God throughout your entire life.

There is still much formation and purification necessary, for you have not yet learned all there is to know about love and true Christian service. Thus it is best that you open your eyes to the lessons that come to you each day with every encounter you have and situation you are allowed. If you are not paying attention, you may miss them, so pray that you will be in tune to the whisper of God at all times.

Just do what needs to be done, and whatever is out of your control, give back to Him...for it may be there for you to learn simply that you can't control everything.

"My heart is ready, O God! I will sing praise and make music. Awake my soul!" (Ps. 108:2)

To leave thy beloved for thy Beloved

"Love Him, and keep Him for thy friend, who, when all go away, will not forsake thee, nor suffer thee to perish in the end. Some time or other thou must be separated from all, whether thou wilt or no. Keep close to Jesus both in life and in death, and commit thyself unto His faithfulness, who, when all fail, can alone help thee."
- from Imitation of Christ

You were just talking about this tonight...having Him as number one...as the center of your life. He is, but not all the time yet. There are still things and people you put above Him in one way or another, and it is these you must continue to surrender through the hands of Mary. It is useless to depend on that which withers away, for you know full well that it is Christ alone who will never leave you. Things lose their value and relationships change as seasons do. There is no secure guarantee of anything except in the presence and love of God.

Mary knew this because each day of her life was lived in Him. She did not worry about what would be taken away from her or what she may never have. She only accepted what was given to her. Her future was left completely in His hands.

Instead of asking: "Will I see my mother and father again?"
she allowed them to leave her at the Temple because she knew who she truly belonged to.

Instead of wondering: "How will Joseph understand my pregancy?"
she trusted that God would do the explaining somehow.

Instead of insisting: "Jesus must not leave Nazareth...I need Him"
she issued forth the command for His first miracle, thus beginning His public ministry for the people who needed Him more.

Instead of desperately crying: "How could you do this to Him?"
she resigned in absolute silence to the Father's plan of salvation.

"We must examine and meditate on the great virtues she practised during her life, especially: 1) Her lively faith, by which she believed the angel's word without the least hesitation, and believed faithfully and constantly even to the foot of the Cross on Calvary. 2) Her deep humility, which made her prefer seclusion, maintain silence, submit to every eventuality and put herself in the last place. "

There was no time for her to fear or doubt. Her mission was too important.

And so is yours, little one. Waste no time asking questions. Just serve wherever you are with whoever has been given you. But first and foremost, you must love Him and it is out of the love that has been placed in your heart that you will share.

Hold on to nothing but Him who you cannot grasp...who cradles you in the palm of His hand.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. The one who finds it buries it again; and so happy is he, that he goes and sells everything he has in order to buy that field."
(Mt. 13:44)

A slave of Jesus in Mary

ST. LOUIS DE MONTFORT'S PRAYER TO JESUS

O most loving Jesus, deign to let me pour forth my gratitude before Thee, for the grace Thou hast bestowed upon me in giving me to Thy holy Mother through the devotion of Holy Bondage, that she may be my advocate in the presence of Thy majesty and my support in my extreme misery. Alas, O Lord! I am so wretched that without this dear Mother I should be certainly lost. Yes, Mary is necessary for me at Thy side and everywhere: that she may appease Thy just wrath, because I have so often offended Thee; that she may save me from the eternal punishment of Thy justice, which I deserve; that she may contemplate Thee, speak to Thee, pray to Thee, approach Thee and please Thee; that she may help me to save my soul and the souls of others; in short, Mary is necessary for me that I may always do Thy holy will and seek Thy greater glory in all things. Ah, would that I could proclaim throughout the whole world the mercy that Thou hast shown to me! Would that everyone might know I should be already damned, were it not for Mary! Would that I might offer worthy thanksgiving for so great a blessing! Mary is in me. Oh, what a treasure! Oh, what a consolation! And shall I not be entirely hers'? Oh, what ingratitude! My dear Saviour, send me death rather than such a calamity, for I would rather die than live without belonging entirely to Mary. With St. John the Evangelist at the foot of the Cross, I have taken her a thousand times for my own and as many times have given myself to her; but if I have not yet done it as Thou, dear Jesus, dost wish, I now renew this offering as Thou dost desire me to renew it. And if Thou seest in my soul or my body anything that does not belong to this august princess, I pray Thee to take it and cast it far from me, for whatever in me does not belong to Mary is unworthy of Thee. O Holy Spirit, grant me all these graces. Plant in my soul the Tree of true Life, which is Mary; cultivate it and tend it so that it may grow and blossom and bring forth the fruit of life in abundance. O Holy Spirit, give me great devotion to Mary, Thy faithful spouse; give me great confidence in her maternal heart and an abiding refuge in her mercy, so that by her Thou mayest truly form in me Jesus Christ, great and mighty, unto the fullness of His perfect age. Amen.

You will be granted your soul's greatest desire. Remain faithful. Strive for humility. Submit in obedience. Love, little one. Just simply love.

"Set me as a seal on your heart, set me as a seal on your arm. For love is strong as death; its jealousy lasting as the power of death, it burns like blazing fire, it blazes like a mighty flame. No flood can extinguish love nor river submerge it. If a man were to buy love with all the wealth of his house, contempt is all he would purchase." (Sg 8:6-7)

Why are you afraid to take up the cross?

In the cross is...

• salvation
• life
• protection from your enemies
• heavenly sweetness
• strength of mind
• joy of spirit
• the highest virtue
• perfect holiness

When you make with your hand the Sign of the Cross, you are praying in the Name of the Blessed Trinity. Through it, you unite yourself to all three Persons who are your God and you offer the deepest intentions with the expectation of being heard by them.

Do not be afraid of the cross...of your cross, as you had said you were. You pretend that it does not bear down upon you - that its weight does not frighten you - but when God handed it to you, He also gave you the grace to carry it.

Look, little one, at all the beautiful gifts that come along with it. Granted that you do not accept it for the gifts but simply for accompanying Jesus on the road to Calvary...however, there is consolation in the Lord's unfailing goodness especially during times of great suffering.

What appears to be "failure" in the world's eyes was Heaven's greatest victory. Our Lord's death defeated all sin and reclaimed the souls of the just. You share in that triumph when you, too, are crucified...when you willingly get up on that cross and tell Jesus that you will remain beside Him for as long as He needs you to.

Do not be afraid. There are many who have expressed their desire to help you along your own "passion". These are the "Simon of Cyrenes" in your life. Your mother. Fr. Ed. Fr. Larry. Your brothers and sisters who intercede on your behalf every day. Their prayers and counsel are the hands that lift the splintered wood from your shoulders. You know that they will be with you as you climb that hill...that they will not mock you from their crosses but rather stand at the foot of yours when you get to the top and are ready to die to yourself.

Do not be afraid. Every saint has chosen this path...

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If you want to follow Me, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Me. For whoever chooses to save His life will lose it, but the one who loses his life for My sake will find it. What will one gain by winning the whole world if he destroys himself? There is nothing you can give to recover your own self.' " (Mt. 16:24-26)

Vanity of vanities, and all is vanity

"He who follows me does not walk in darkness." (Jn 8:12)

Has the pain become so unbearable that you cannot go on loving, little one? What is it? Allow the roots to be exposed in order for the weeds to be pulled out of the soil in your soul. Let it out. Just let it all out.

I look around and I say that it isn't fair, but I look at the Cross and realize that His death wasn't, either. Judgments made...reputations ruined...relationships broken. But then, I, too, at one point in time have contributed as well. Maybe I'm so sad because I see pieces of me out there in the people I care about. I'm put to shame by the faults I so easily recognize.

Perhaps I can't come to grips with the fact that this world, these people, and I myself are all imperfect. False idealism. Wanting everything to be peachy when unfortunately it never will be. At least not in this world. The optimistic idealist vs. the realistic pessimist as Fr. Shannon had described it. Life as I know it will never be fair because I hold within my own heart my partialities, preferences, and prejudices. We all do in one form or another.

But God calls us to rise above and beyond what we know so that the depth of our vision will penetrate into the tabernacle of each soul. All is vanity when seen through Heaven's eyes. Nothing has value apart from God, but found in Him used for the purpose of salvation and sanctification, all created things and creatures become priceless.

I still believe in faith, hope, and love. I still believe that Our Lord's presence is so evident all around me. I still believe that we can continue claiming more of the kingdom for God.

So what exactly do I have to change?

I have to keep letting go of attachments. I really have to. Daily acts of self-denial. It has to happen, otherwise certain things will keep distracting me and prevent me from seeing the face of Christ wherever I go. Let it all go...

"He holds the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. The ear surely can test the words as the tongue tastes the food; wisdom is found in the old, and understanding in great age; in God however is wisdom and power; His are counsel and understanding.

What He tears down, none can rebuild; the one He imprisons, none can release. If He withholds water, there is drought; if He lets it loose, there is flood. In Him are strength and perception; deceived and deceiver are in His power. He leads counselors away stripped and makes fools of judges. He loosens the belt of kings and ties a loincloth about their waist. He leads priests away, barefoot, and overthrows those in power. He compels advisors to keep silent, and strips elders of their discernment. He puts princes to shame; He unties the girdle of the strong. He makes a nation rise and fall, a people to grow and to dwindle. He deprives leaders of their judgment, leaving them to roam in a trackless waste. Without light, they grope in the dark and stagger like drunkards." (Job 12:10-25)

Your Will Be Done

Everything you have learned up to this point must be tested and tried. Much of it has been already, but it is a continuous purification so that you will truly experience all that you have been taught.

Holy indifference. Seeking Him in the desert. Love for the sake of God alone. Submission to the will of the Father. Absolute obedience. Joy in suffering as a victim soul. Wholehearted intercession. Unceasing prayer.

Quite the challenge, yes...but you know there is no other way for you.

As Leilani just said a minute ago, "When you pray, you lift it up...like Eucharist." "It" oftentimes encompasses more than you think you can handle. But remember who your strength is. He is the reason for your soul's very existence.

How much do you really want all that He has waiting for you? Grace abounds. Would you like some? No, you will not always feel it working but through faith you know it upholds you.

You are not completely free, as something still weighs down on your heart. What is the true source of your sadness? Use the Holy Name of Jesus to dispel the dark spirit that seeps you of your joy. Think back to the time when you were so generous with Him. What led you to that state? What did you say to yourself as you made the choice to offer all that you had to the Father with no reservation? Return to that place...to that time...to those experiences that pushed you forward into His arms.

Go back, little one...go back to your Gethsemane.

"And Yahweh says, 'When you call on me I will listen. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.' For Yahweh says, 'I will let myself be found by you and I will gather you from among the nations and from all the places where I have driven you and bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.' " (Jer. 29:12-14)

Jesus Christ is the Alpha and the Omega

All things begin in Jesus and all things should end in Jesus. It is the same for your life, little one. You were created in Him and everything you do must end in Him. But to be found wholly in Christ, you must wholly belong to His Mother. You cannot separate the two. So during prayer as you implore the mercy of God, you move through Mary...you beg through Mary, and you will receive through Mary. As you seek to serve God, it is best that you ask her to look with favor on your offerings of the body and soul...that she may help purify your intentions and ask her Spouse to burn away all impurity in order to present the sacrifices worthy of acceptance by her Son.

Approach the throne of your Savior-King with the heart of His Queen. Ask for all that she was and is...she who was formed in the school of Jesus. Mary is the perfect saint-model. At every opportunity, she said yes to God, whether it was the great Fiat at the Annunciation or the quiet solitude that remained her witness for thirty years. It is in your imitation of Mary that your imitation of Christ will reach its fullness during your life on earth. For her lips to utter the Holy Name of her child gave such sweet worship to the Lord. For her hands to carry the bundled baby from the manger and the same bloodied body from the Cross, there was no greater act of trust than for God Himself to surrender Himself to the care of this woman.

Her mission began in Him and it ended in Him. Jesus was Mary's Alpha and Mary's Omega. And you, child - what about you? Is He your Omega as well? Has your love for Christ been growing over the years, as the days pass and you journey closer to the end of your world? Will each action...each devotion...all of your life, really...will it all end with as much "gusto" as it began? Pray, little one. Pray that it will. That you will experience a continous outpouring of grace to persevere...to be filled with all that the Father wants to give you.

Day by day
O dear Lord, three things I pray
To see Thee more clearly
To love Thee more dearly
To follow Thee more nearly
Day by day

"So, my friends, we are assured of entering the Sanctuary by the blood of Jesus who opened for us this new and living way passing through the curtain, that is, His body. Because we have a high priest in charge of the House of God, let us approach with a sincere heart, with full faith, interiorly cleansed from a bad conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Let us hold fast to our hope without wavering, because He who promised is faithful. Let us consider how we may spur one another to love and good works. Do not abandon the assemblies as some of you do, but encourage one another, and all the more since the Day is drawing near." (Heb. 10:19-25)

Mary, Queen of All Hearts

Your heart...how is your heart doing? It is full of hope, I see. You're starting to believe again because you are now more aware of the presence of Jesus and Mary in your life and in the lives of others as well. There is much - so much - to be thankful for. More and more gratitude will lead you to a deeper state of humility. This is actually a "little path" towards developing this virtue that many forget is available to them. It is more pleasant, though not necessarily easier, than asking for humilitations. More pleasant because you taste the Lord's goodness. Not easier because it is most easy to forget what you normally take for granted. But when you are grateful, those "fallen", pride-shattering moments do not hurt as badly because even those you will be thankful for.

The Blessed Mother gave a beautiful example of this in her Magnificat and it would serve you well to go back to praying it every day as you used to. Thank God for everything...for every cross...for every blessing...for every person and every circumstance. In doing so, you will acknowledge your nothingness and your total dependence on Him. And Mary, as your Queen, will meanwhile do all she can to share with you her gratitude to the God who gave her such an honored place in Heaven.

"And Mary said: 'My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit exults in God my savior! He has looked upon His servant in her lowliness, and people forever will call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, Holy is His Name! From age to age His mercy extends to those who live in His presence. He has acted with power and done wonders, and scattered the proud with their plans. He has put down the mighty from their thrones and lifted up those who are downtrodden. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He held out His hand to Israel, His servant, for He remembered His mercy, even as He promised our fathers, Abraham and his descendants forever.' " (Luke 1:46-55)

Wonderful Effects of This Devotion

1. Knowledge of your unworthiness
2. A share of Mary's faith
3. The gift of pure love
4. Great confidence in God and in Mary
5. Communication of the spirit of Mary
6. Transformation into the likeness of Jesus
7. The greater glory of Christ

It will take some time to see the fullness of the effects of your devotion to Mary in your heart, as it is most important that you humble yourself before her and God so that all obstacles - especially the road blocks of self-love and pride - will be removed. You must begin with yourself. This is why the renunciation of the spirit of the world and knowledge of self were the prerequisites for knowledge of Mary and Jesus. There is much being brought to light in your soul and you cannot deny your faults and weaknesses any longer. They're there and you cannot possibly "ignore them away".

"By the light which the Holy Spirit will give you through Mary, his faithful spouse, you will perceive the evil inclinations of your fallen nature and how incapable you are of any good. Finally, the humble Virgin Mary will share her humility with you so that, although you regard yourself with distaste and desire to be disregarded by others, you will not look down slightingly upon anyone."

To face yourself as you are is to accept truth...to see yourself as God sees you...as His beloved and as dust. Do not be afraid. It may hurt and you will feel shame but it will only lead you closer to Christ because you will acknowledge the power of His grace sustaining you...the depth of His mercy saving you...and the immensity of His love embracing you.

"I bless the Lord who counsels me; even at night my inmost self instructs me. I keep the Lord always before me; for with Him at my right hand, I will never be shaken.

My heart, therefore, exults, my soul rejoices; my body too will rest assured. For You will not abandon my soul to the grave, not will You suffer Your holy one to see decay in the land of the dead. You will show me the path of life, in Your presence the fullness of joy, at Your right hand happiness forever." (Psalm 16:7-11)

Smooth, short, perfect and sure way to Jesus

"It is a road we do not wander from, or because we walk along this road with greater ease and joy, and consequently with greater speed."
- from True Devotion to Mary

You seek the simple and uncomplicated, and here you have been given Christ through the heart of His Mother. When you met St. Therese a few years ago, you were drawn to the Little Way because of the same reason...you wanted to take the "elevator of love" to get to the heart of the Father. Many others try to create their own way, and eventually they may reach their goal, but it is best for you to follow in the footsteps of your sister, Therese, and your mother, Mary. You will suffer but they will sweeten the pain. The chalice is still yours to drink of but it will not be as bitter as if you do not commend yourself to their intercession. All was done in their lives out of complete love for God. Even their very deaths were acts of love. These are your examples to follow, little one. Do not look elsewhere lest you be led astray.

"Dearly beloved, build your life on the foundation of your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit. Remain firm in the love of God, welcoming the mercy of Jesus Christ, our Lord, which leads to eternal life." (Jude 1:20-21)

Give yourself to Mary to belong entirely to Jesus

This devotion consists in giving oneself entirely to Mary in order to belong entirely to Jesus through her. It requires us to give:

• Our body with its senses and members
• Our soul with its faculties
• Our present material possessions and all we shall acquire in the future
• Our interior and spiritual possessions, that is, our merits, virtues and good actions of the past, the present and the future.

In other words, we give her all that we possess both in our natural life and in our spiritual life as well as everything we shall acquire in the future in the order of nature, of grace, and of glory in heaven. This we do without any reservation, not even of a penny, a hair, or the smallest good deed. And we give for all eternity without claiming or expecting, in return for our offering and our service, any other reward than the honour of belonging to our Lord through Mary and in Mary, even though our Mother were not - as in fact she always is - the most generous and appreciative of all God's creatures.

- from True Devotion to Mary

Do you live your life, little one, as if you belong entirely to Jesus and Mary? Is there anything that you say or do that is not in total conformity with their hearts? Ultimately you want your whole day - every waking moment - to be offered as a sacrifice to God. Any gift that comes from you would be received more perfectly if you passed it on to your Blessed Mother so that she may give it to her Son. Jesus will only bless it and hand it to the Father because it came from the hands of His Mother.

Nothing is your own. All of who you are and all of what you have has been granted and allowed by God. It is in this spirit of gratitude that you should live because He has been so good to you. Why is it that you withhold portions for yourself? Yes, it is because you forget Him and take Him for granted, which is quite easy to do with all that the world offers to distract you. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself that He is first. Ask Him to show you where He is throughout your day. Let your life be your prayer...talk to Him...let Him talk to you. Go to Mary for everything as you would to your own mother when you were a child. This is a great grace to be able to say, "Totus tuus. All is yours." Beg for it and it will be given to you.

"Blessed be God's name forever and ever, for His are wisdom and power. He changes times and seasons; He sets up and disposes kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals things deep and hidden; He knows what lies in darkness; for the light dwells with Him. I give thanks and praise to You, O God of my fathers. You have given me wisdom and power; You have shown me what we asked for - You have made known to us the dream of the king." (Daniel 2:20-23)

Interior, trustful, holy, constant, disinterested

Little heart, are you truly devoted to Mary? You say to yourself that you still have a long way to go. Aware of your weaknesses and faults, more so now than you ever have been, you are very unsure of many things. And that's okay. Your confidence should be in God and in all that He had placed in Mary. When you look to her and see how blessed she was...how guided and inspired she was...how God sustained her in every moment of her life, you can know that the graces she received from Him are reserved for you, too.

There is no use in trusting yourself and your own abilities. This is why you find no satisfaction in your accomplishments...that while you may be tempted to seek the approval of others, you are left wanting to know only if you had accomplished the will of God. All else is empty...like Mother Luisita says, "a puff of smoke".

Pray for an increase of Mary's virtues in your own life:

• deep humility
• lively faith
• blind obedience
• unceasing prayer
• constant self-denial
• surpassing purity
• ardent love
• heroic patience
• angelic kindness
• heavenly wisdom

Notice that each virtue is extraordinary. Not just humility but DEEP HUMILITY. Not just patience but HEROIC PATIENCE. It must go beyond the common niceness and courtesy that the world expects. All of this takes a COMPLETE DYING TO SELF. Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. You have help at all times, remember that. Mary prays for you, the Holy Spirit empowers you, the saints root you on.

Reflect on what these mean to your life. Never seeking recognition or praise. Giving God all the glory for everything He does through you. Being excited about Jesus and sharing the faith with everyone you meet. Not being afraid to witness to the power of God and the transformation He brings about every day. Not asking any questions whenever summoned to service or accepting some change in your life, especially when you don't understand why certain things are happening. Living your life as an ongoing conversation with God, allowing Him to speak to you in your circumstances, in the people you encounter each day, in the silence of your heart. Putting others before you. Being more concerned about their needs than you are about your own, in all things spiritual, emotional and physical. Avoiding all that draws you away from God and letting periods of great or small suffering be the means to cleanse and purify your soul in whatever way He deems best. Giving way to the fire of the Spirit that burns in your heart, being unable to contain His love for yourself alone. Bearing the crosses of others who cannot seem to carry them alone. Seeking to understand their weaknesses and refusing to judge their hearts, even when they cannot seem to meet you with patience in return. Pouring out the sweetness of Heaven in each conversation you have and in every smile you offer to those whose spirits need that lift. Seeing all people as temples of God Himself dwelling within them. Acknowledging their value, especially when they cannot see it for themselves.

Be prepared in these coming weeks for the Blessed Mother to teach you as you are tested. You can only acquire these virtues in the school of Mary, facing arduous trials as she did but personally orchestrated for your life. She did not live in fear because she trusted in God, and when she was tempted (for she had to have the opportunity to continue to say yes to Him and no to Satan) her immediate response was Truth, just as it was for Jesus. She knew her God intimately because she spent her whole life seeking to serve Him. You must do the same. His grace is sufficient for you to learn and to do. Are you ready? Will you accept the challenge for the love of God?

True devotion to Our Blessed Mother

First type of devotion

• fulfilling your Christian duties
• avoiding mortal sin
• acting more out of love than fear
• praying to Our Lady every now and then
• honoring her as Mother of God
• no special devotion to her in particular

Second type of devotion

• more perfect feelings of esteem and love, of confidence and veneration for Our Lady
• join Confraternities of the Holy Rosary and of the Scapular
• recite five or fifteen decades of the Holy Rosary
• honor Mary's images and altars
• publish her praises and enroll in sodalities

Third type of devotion

• giving one's self entirely and as a slave to Mary, and to Jesus through Mary
• do all that you do through Mary, with Mary, in Mary and for Mary
• choose a special feast day on which you give, consecrate and sacrifice to Mary, voluntarily, lovingly and without restraint, entirely and without reserve... + EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE +

Dear soul, which devotion do you choose? For all that she has done for you, she deserves far much more than you can ever offer, but she so gladly accepts even just one Hail Mary uttered with great sincerity. This devotion, however, is not meant to give her glory...that is not her intent. She wants to lead you closer to the heart of Christ. She wants to give you more of her Son...more of the graces that await you as you grow in knowledge of the actions of the Holy Spirit in her life. Mary desires to show you the Way, the Truth, and the Life because she knows more than anyone what joy fills a heart in love with God. Yet this joy is not complete until it is shared, as you have come to learn recently. So seek with all your being - mind, body, and soul - to allow your devotion to Mary and to any of the other saints to transform your heart into the heart of a servant...humble, obedient, kind, patient, accepting, forgiving, generous, without expectation. Only then will you have the fullness of joy...of life...of love.

His mother stored up all these things in her heart

How did she feel knowing that she was kissing the face of God? This child who got cold, was hungry, felt pain...this was her Lord. He chose her to be His mother. It was through her body that He would enter the world. There could not have possibly been any words to describe it all.

Yet she was reminded every day that He did not belong to her. They needed Him. She did, too, but He came to die for all humanity. Look at how they sought Him out. So much hunger for salvation. The shepherds...the wise men. Simeon and Anna had waited so long. Later on it would be the multitudes of sinners.

There is a longing in the human heart to be in the presence of God. They may not have fully understood who He was, but they wanted to be around Him. And Mary...what privilege and responsibility she had.

But the secret would be kept for thirty years...hidden. Until it was time...

What does this say to you, little one? How are you to imitate Mary in this way? Your heart holds Jesus very close, but you are now starting to understand that you cannot keep Him to yourself. Just like Mary, you are to share Him with the world around you. The intimacy of your relationship with Him must be preserved in all its sacredness, but as you find the fruit of His Spirit growing within you, do not forget that you are His...to be used at His disposal, not the other way around.

Especially today there is still a need. They still seek Him out...in you, in your family, in your friends, in your church. People want to know...who is this Jesus that you follow? Are you any different because you say you love Him? No life is really complete until a soul meets Him in spirit and in truth. Jesus Christ is the greatest gift you can give to anyone in this world. Mary knew this for herself. Ask her to help you to do as she did...without fear...without hesitation.

"Wonderful are your decrees; my soul cannot but keep them. As your words unfold, light is shed, and the simple-hearted understand. I gasp in ardent yearning for your commandments that I love. Turn to me then and be gracious as to those who love your name. You promised to direct my steps; free my path from evil. Rescue me from human oppression, and help me keep your precepts. Favor me with your smile and teach me your statutes. My eyes shed streams of tears for those who disobey your law. I call upon you, save me and I will do your will. Before dawn I rise and cry for help; all my hope is in your word. I lie awake through the night to ponder on your promises. Hear my voice, in your unfailing love; in your justice, O Lord, preserve my life." (Psalm 119:129-136, 146-149)

The reward of renunciation

Let it all go. It will be all right. You know that there is freedom in not possessing that which you may feel you have a right to. Everything you have and everyone you know belongs to God. He only allows them to you for a while in order to reveal His great love for you...to test your faith...to purify you of inordinate desires...to give you the opportunity to love as He did.

Jesus left this world the same way we all do...with nothing. Everything was taken from Him. His clothes. His mother. His own dignity. Yet He faced death with more acceptance than anyone who had ever lived.

You, too, are called to give everything up for the love of God. What must you surrender at this time? Lots. Name them one by one and release them into the hands of the Father.

Family. Friends. Health. Job. Students. Intellect. Will. Reputation. Pride. Spiritual consolations in prayer and in relationships with God and other souls. Love for all created things. The ability to simply love alone.

Why? Because in the end it'll be just you and Him. No one and nothing else will accompany you on the day of judgment. So what you have with Him has to be pure. It really has to be. Uncontaminated by disordered attachments to people and things.

This doesn't mean you stop loving or caring about those around you. It means that you are to love more deeply so that nothing of your love is selfish...not being disappointed if you lose them in one way or another. Knowing that He can use you as He wills...that He can use the people in your life in whatever way He deems best.

"Sell all that you have and give your money to the poor." Even if you follow all the commandments, God summons you to another level of holiness. This is an opportunity to really show your love for Him...if there is absolutely nothing standing in the way of you and Jesus. Making that choice to leave everything behind just to follow Him.

Asking yourself if it's worth it, but trusting in His promises. Choosing to let God raise the standard for you and begging Him for the grace to meet it.

In this way, you will see every "loss" as a definite gain.

"Come to terms with God and make peace; in this way you will prosper.
Listen to His teaching and keep His words in your heart.
If you return humbled to the Almighty,
if you drive injustice form your tent,
then you will look on gold as dust,
gold of Ophir as pebbles from a stream.
For the Almighty will be your gold and your sparkling silver.
For then you will delight in the Almighty and lift up your face to God.
You will pray to Him and He will hear,
and you will fulfill your vows.
You will succeed in your decision,
and light will shine upon your way.
For God brings down the proud and saves the downcast.
He who rescues the innocent man,
will rescue you too if your hands are clean." (Job 22:21-30)

We are merely servants

Do not lead others astray. Correct your brothers and sisters, but if they continue to do wrong against you and come back sorry, you must forgive them. Acknowledge that you do no more than your duty because you are called by God to serve with your whole heart.

He asks for still yet more room...more time in your heart. More today than yesterday. Never asking for more or less than your best, God wants you to give Him your all...everything you have right now. Even in your inadequacies, He still does not want you to hold back. Be generous with Him, child. Be generous.

Lord, that I may see!

"We may not trust too much to ourselves; for grace and understanding are wanting in us; there is but little light and this we may soon lose by negligence. Oftentimes we are quite unconscious how blind we are. We often do amiss, and do worse in excusing ourselves. Sometimes we are moved by passion, and think it zeal. We blame little things in others and overlook great things in ourselves. We are quick enough in perceiving and weighing what we bear from others; but we think little of what others have to bear with us. He that should well and justly weigh his own doings would find little cause to judge harshly of another."
- from Imitation of Christ, Book 2, Chapter 5

This means something to you, doesn't it? Pray, little one, that you will not become a cross for another by your sins and rash judgment. If you are sent into the lives of others, you are to be a blessing, not a curse. Over time, you have seen yourself go from one spectrum to another...your life in the world vs. your life in Christ. You have been feeling the pull back into your former self in how you deal with yourself and with some of your closest relationships as well.

Please do not allow this to progress any further than it already has. Your ways and God's ways are very different. If you trust in yourself, you will surely fall, as you have in the past. If you trust in God and ask Him to give you His eyes, His ears, and His heart, you will make yourself available to an entirely new way of being. You know this because you had this. You remember. Now you remember.

You can pretend to think and speak and act like everyone else, but your spirit will die. You are different because you have to be different. You are different because you were made different. Jesus was considered a revolutionary because He was different, too. See, I told you that you weren't alone. So if you let Him live in you, there is no way that you can not be different. This means you cannot be who you were. You must change, each day growing more and more in holiness. It is only He within you who remains the same, as you were telling Maurice.

Jesus, the same yesterday, today, and forever. Always.

"Remember the first days when you were enlightened. You had to undergo a hard struggle in the face of suffering. Publicly you were exposed to humiliations and trials, and had to share the sufferings of others who were similarly treated. You showed solidarity with those in prison; you were dispossessed of your goods and accepted it gladly for you knew you were acquiring a much better and more durable possession. Do not throw away your confidence that will be handsomely rewarded. Be patient in doing the will of God, and the promise will be yours." (Heb 10:32-38)

We need Mary in order to die to ourselves

"We must see as if we saw not, understand as if we understood not and make use of all the things of this world, as if we made no use of them at all... If we do not die to ourselves, and if the holiest devotions do not incline us to the necessary and useful death, we shall bring forth no fruit worth anything, and our devotion will become useless."
- from True Devotion to Mary

There she is - the answer is found in Mary. Of course you can't do it alone. Your Mother walks with you and she prays for the virtues to be cultivated in your soul. Know that you must persevere just as she did, for virtue must be developed in difficult circumstances. You learn forgiveness when you are hurt by those you love the most. You learn patience when you are pushed to impatience. You learn hope when you are tempted to despair. You learn humility when you want so badly to protect your own pride. You learn obedience when you want to push for your personal agenda but are called to give that up for the will of God or the well-being of another person.

All of this happens as you live your day-to-day life. You don't have to dwell behind convent doors in order to develop virtues. For you, the world provides enough opportunities to challenge you in all the ways particular to the needs of your soul. Examine how you live among your family...how you are with your friends and your coworkers...how you interact with your students...how you acknowledge the presence of Christ in strangers.

You hear Jei Franxis saying to you now, as he said last night to you all at rehearsal: "If you are a good actress, your environment shouldn't matter. You are able to become that character wherever you are." The same is true for seeing Jesus all around you. It shouldn't matter where you are. Granted that there are some places that are more holy and places that are downright evil...but wherever you end up experiencing Him should not be limited to the church building alone. At the same time, you should depend on the Spirit within you to allow you to be Jesus to anyone you meet, regardless of who they are or where they have come from.

"They were faithful to the teaching of the apostles, the common life of sharing, the breaking of bread and the prayers. A holy fear came upon all the people, for many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. Now all the believers lived together and shared all their belongings. They would sell their property and all they had and distribute the proceeds to others according to their need. Each day they met together in the Temple area; they broke bread in their homes; they shared their food with great joy and simplicity of heart; they praised God and won the people's favor. And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved." (Acts 2:42-47)

The obedience of a humble heart

There is much to be improved in this area. Reflect on what obedience really is. "Do whatever He asks," Your Mother says. Whatever He asks. He has asked much of you, but what stands in the way? Pride. It overpowers His voice so much that you can't hear Him. So that's where it begins. You need to learn to listen again. Remove the distractions and go quiet. Dump all of your sins at the foot of the Cross and trust in His mercy. Give Him room. Give Him time. Give Him your whole heart and ask Him to help you come back to Him with childlike simplicity. Do you remember? Yes, that word again. Remember.

Everyone struggles with something, little one. You are not alone in this. The beautiful thing is that grace is abundant. It never runs out...endlessly being poured upon the world from Heaven. But you must predispose your soul in order to receive it well for every moment that must be filled with it. Only then will you become like the handmaid at the foot of your King, patiently waiting His next command.

Be completely honest with yourself. Don't feel that you need to expose everything interior to the world around you, for much of it is unexplainable. Sit with Him. Tell Him what happens in your heart, and for what you cannot speak about, simply offer it up and let the Spirit translate for you. In due time, He will give you instructions as to how you are to bring Him into the lives of others...those to whom He has sent you.

In the meantime, just grow with Him. As the flowers reach towards the sun, seek His face and go where He is. Deprive yourself of nothing if it brings about good fruit. It is just as important then to avoid all that brings about darkness and death to your soul. It is much more difficult to revive a dying plant than to keep a healthy plant well-nourished.

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; reject not, therefore, the lessons of the Almighty." (Job 5:17)