Happiness is...

...not comparing your life to anyone else's.

There will always be people in this world "better off" than you are, and there will always be people in this world "worse off" than you are. What's interesting is that the people you think are "better off" often struggle in ways that you are unaware of...and the people you think are "worse off" might have more to be thankful for than you do.

Just a thought sparked from a conversation that I had with my sisters a few days ago.

If you're constantly looking at everything other people have that you don't, you'll feel very unsatisfied with your own life. If you're constantly looking for everything that's wrong in everybody else's lives, you'll have a false sense of esteem for what you think you do have.

Moral of the story: Live your life as best as you can according to God's will for you. The only person you can really compare yourself to is the person He made you to be. The "best version of yourself", as Matthew Kelly says.

You can't even want to be the person you used to be since time and experience has changed you. But in the circumstances you find yourself, you can ask God how you can be more grateful and loving and generous and kind...more faithful and committed and honest...more like Him among the people He has placed in your life.

Another random thought: It always takes me a really long time to make Kris Kringle lists. I no longer like to accumulate things, and as time goes by, I've realized that I only buy what I really need. So when I have to make a list of things that I "want for Christmas", I have a hard time. Hmmm...

Meleana wasn't feeling well today. She puked all over Gary twice and looked horrible when I got home. Her tummy wasn't agreeing with the whole milk. It took a while for her to get better, but you should have seen her just laying there on his chest. So sad. Thank God that she was eventually up and about again after a few hours, running around saying, "Hiiii....!!"

=)

Happy Gobble Gobble!

People send the funniest mass text messages on Thanksgiving. =)

I'm sitting at my mom's house waiting for my corn casserole to bake, so I thought I'd blog a bit. We split up the menu because there just wouldn't be enough time to cook all the dishes ourselves. So Gary and I picked the menu, printed out the recipes, bought the ingredients, and distributed everything among my family.

Here's what we're going to eat tonight...

• Turkey
• Apple and Pecan Stuffing
  
• Spinach-Green Bean Casserole
• Corn Casserole
• Pumpkin Gooey (kinda like pumpkin pie)
  
• Em's Pumpkin bread

We got the Corn Casserole and Pumpkin Gooey from Gary's friend Janina when his friends got together for their annual Thanksgiving potluck earlier this month. They were so good, we had to share them with the family. I'm so not the cook, but my husband definitely inspires me to try a few new things because HE'S so excited about the food. =)

A part of me is sad that our family is not complete tonight. In a perfect world - at least from my perspective - things would be different. But I can only say a prayer that one day, we'll all be celebrating together in the heavenly Banquet prepared for us by the Lord.

******************************

On another note, I finally got to see Dr. Wallace yesterday for an appointment. He's the doctor who wrote The Lupus Book, recommended to me by one of the mom's of two of my former students. I was hesitant to contact him because my case isn't extremely serious, and I figured he'd be super-busy, but my coworkers reminded me that I need to get whatever care it takes to get me back to 100% - especially since I'm pregnant.

So Gary, Meleana, and I drove to his office across from Cedar-Sinai, and there wasn't even a wait! I was shocked, simply because my last specialist was always overbooked and I had to wait at least 45 min to an hour just to see him for 10 minutes all the way in Santa Ana. Particularly impressive was the fact that he did a FULL exam, and I was able to get my blood drawn right there in the office. Apparently he treats Paula Abdul and a few other celebrities struggling with rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and fibromyaligia - so he's gotta be the best of the best in his field.

I felt really good leaving his office because he definitely knows what he's doing. Praise God...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Word of the Day: "Doggie"

I was reading to Lea today, and I pointed to a puppy in one of the pictures. "Doggie," I said to her. "Doggie," she repeated back. Then she flipped through the pages of the book and had me come back to the page with the puppy. She took my finger and had me point to it again. "Doggie." That was the only word she would say. I'd point to other things and say their names: kitten, ant, worm, dress...she'd just look at them...but whenever I came back to the puppy, she would say it again, "Doggie."

I was sharing with my 6th graders today that we all struggle with various temptations throughout our lives, and that I continue to fight against my own temptations every day - especially when I am frustrated with a person or a situation and I just want to vent instead of praying about it and giving it to God. So last night, I was talking to Gary about someone that I was losing my patience with, using a tone and an attitude that was not very Christian-like. In the middle of the conversation, Meleana happened to reach under the futon where we keep her reading cards, pulls one out, and walks over from the living room to hand it to me in the dining room. I take the card from her and tell her what it says..."JESUS". In that moment, the Lord brought me back to a previous lesson I had shared with my kids about how we need to understand that "whatsoever you do to the least of My brethren, that you do unto Me." And so I decided to stop my ranting. It was a good reminder...

My child can talk!

"Lea..."

"Mama..."

"Daddy..."

This is what I've been waiting for! I LOVED having conversations with Leilani when she first started talking, and now here Meleana is actually beginning to say words! She still has a ways to go as far as putting sentences together, but she'll at least repeat words that we say to her (especially when we're showing her reading cards). And when we say, "Thank you," she utters her own version of "You're welcome"!

Her favorite books are The Story of Mary (still!) and Goodnight Moon, both given by my sisters. When I ask her to find those books, she knows exactly which ones to pick up. And last week at the school Mass, she was raising her hands with us as we prayed the Our Father. My kids caught me laughing because it was the first time we'd ever seen her do that! I was also sharing with Jenn and Lyn-lyn that on Monday night, she was imitating one of the couples doing the fox trot on "Dancing with the Stars"...I think there were three moves she picked up...haha!

It's SO amazing to watch kids grow up. When I see Leilani reading to the little ones, Jacob singing with his mommy, JJ playing the ukulele, and all the King kiddos behaving so well every time we see them at Mass, it makes me so grateful that I'm able to share the experience of being a parent among family members who celebrate motherhood and fatherhood.

It's so sad that people look at having children as a burden - an unfortunate event that encroaches on your personal freedom. If anything, being a mother or a father opens up your life AND your heart to a world of innocence and purity that we once knew long ago. You can't get this kind of joy any other way. That's why I was so happy to run into one of my friends recently who was able to adopt 2 beautiful little girls after suffering her own series of miscarriages. There's this space within each and every one of us that not only needs to be filled with love, but wants so badly to share that love with children who depend on us for everything.

My last entry was begging God for an experience of His love. I thought I was looking to receive it, but He knew that I needed to be the giver this time. Shortly after writing that post some weeks ago, Meleana got sick. It wasn't serious and it didn't last very long, but Gary and I had a couple of really rough nights with her where we hardly slept during those 48 hours. I remember holding her in my arms, praying that she would be okay...not so I could get rest, but so she wouldn't have to suffer. I wanted to make the sacrifice because I loved her. It was then that the longing was fulfilled, and my spirit was able to rest in the comfort of knowing that God was calling me to something deeper than what I thought I needed for myself.

Emeline has been writing about a new revelation in her own spiritual life, and I feel like I am going through something similar but in a different kind of way. The one thing I do share in her journey is a renewed sense of faithfulness and commitment to the every day duties placed before me, in every aspect of my life. No, it's not about the spiritual highs anymore. Granted I do get excited when I see God working, but life has settled down into such a state of serenity - even in all the busyness of our schedules. There is a peace...a calm...a wonderful "knowing" that God is in control...

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I can also feel Dyogi baby #3 moving around a lot more these days. Or maybe it was that we also got to hear Bill Cosby speak live and in person about the road he traveled to get where he is today. Or could it have to do with my once again hearing the stories and saw the faces of the students at Verbum Dei, reminded of the good work being done that so many people take for granted? Or maybe because we were able to attend a full seminar given by Dominic on life after death that truly put this all in perspective. Or could it have been the opportunity we had to watch my SJS boys during their football game because God really did tell me that we'd be able to see them play? It could also be the faith and courage of one 8th grader who led the rosary for his family who was mourning the loss of a cousin killed in front of his own girlfriend. Not to forget the phone conversation I had with one of my coworkers/parents who is recovering from a major surgery, as she envisioned Jesus standing over her among the doctors and nurses who cared for her at such a vulnerable time.

Blessings abound. Blessings always abound, even in our broken world. I don't think God ever runs out of ways to show us that He's here.

Sure, tomorrow holds many hopes and dreams and a million possibilities. But today there's so much to be thankful for.