Just let it out!

I used to be really good at holding things in. When something would bother me, I wouldn't want to let the other person know because I figured that if I said anything, they would a) get mad at me, or b) think I was being stupid. Some years ago, 90% of the time this was true...so as time went by, I just learned to keep my mouth shut and no one ever knew anything was wrong.

Now that I'm older (and a little wiser), I know that it's best to try and communicate how I am feeling because I remember that when I'd just stuff my issues away, they'd eventually blow up in my face...or rather at the person I was upset with. It's really nice to be open and honest...to have a good, productive conversation about how a situation can improve if both parties are willing to listen to one another.

Thank God for the grace to spill my guts without running into a brick wall or having it get emotionally messy. Gary noticed I'm getting better at it.

I also very much appreciate the fact that SPC has confession every day. I just went last Saturday and needed to go again yesterday because I uncovered MORE issues I was dealing with...stuff from the past that I never let go of. It felt great to be there...to see Fr. Ed again and get his advice...to visit Jesus and hang out with Meleana in the courtyard.

Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately. I've been super-busy working on this ePortfolio for my credential. It's a lot of work but definitely a GREAT way to reflect on my career and what I do for my kids. I'll share it with you guys when I'm done!

Before I go, I have to give you a Meleana update. As of today, she...

• climbs up and down the futon all by herself
  
• stands by herself for a few seconds with a huge smile on her face and her hands above her head to keep herself from falling over
• takes my hands and makes me clap for her when she knows she did something to be proud of
• takes my hands and squishes my cheeks...she loves it when I make a chipmunk face and she pushes the air out of my mouth
• can now find me in the bedroom when she knows I'm in there working
• does this feet-stomping dance, like she's in a hillbilly ho-down
• crawls away when we try to change her diaper...I am now mastering the lap change
  
• tried to feed me her bottle...haha =)

Amazing how she's growing so fast. I will be so sad when summer is over, but I'm very, very grateful that I've had these past couple of months to spend with her and Gary. Teacher vacations are AWESOME. But of course, being home with her full-time will be AWESOM-ER!! =) God willing, someday soon...

Nothing is impossible with God

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.'

To which, his father said 'Yes'

For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island .

Father and son went on to complete the race together. View this:



We often take for granted the grace that God gives us to get through our struggles. Paralyzed by our own fears and psychological handicaps, we tell ourselves that our goals and our dreams are unreachable...our problems too big...our self-esteem too low...never good enough to "shoot for the stars". God is like this father - yet infinitely even more loving, more powerful, more determined to get us to the Finish Line. He wants us to trust that He can get us there...that He will see us through to the end. He wants us to believe that WE will do it together - with the grace and the strength that HE ALONE provides.

Before watching this video, I honestly felt stuck in a number of possible personal endeavors - telling myself that I couldn't do it because of this excuse and that uncertainty. Knowing that these "projects" are things He wants me to do in order to help people wasn't enough. I was too afraid of failure...of judgment...of not making it there. This story shows that truly NOTHING is impossible with God. He has been our Source of Life since the beginning of time...orchestrating our creation long before we walked this earth...just so He could love us. How can I look at Him and tell Him that He's too limited to help me and and all those who say, "Dad, will you take part in this race with me?"

MY GOD, I LOVE YOU. PLEASE HEAL MY UNBELIEF...

The best things in life are free

So they say you have to have the big bucks to "live the good life", but I beg to differ. I think it's so awesome how the simplest things can make us happy and they don't even cost a dime. Hanging out with family, taking a nap with your kiddo, or joyfully anticipating the birth of a child...these are just some things that some of you have recently talked about...special moments that a million dollars could never buy. The smile of our own little girl is absolutely priceless, and it's so wonderful that even strangers will take the time to say hi to her and see her face brighten up.

God is so good to bless us so much. At Mass today I thanked Him for the free gift of Himself in the Eucharist...the sustenance for our souls...for the life of grace He so generously pours upon us. I really don't think it's possible to have such appreciation for these gifts without faith in God. That's why we are so grateful to have family and friends who share our beliefs and remind us that we should never take the little things for granted.

If we can experience this kind of happiness and peace now, just imagine what Heaven will be like...

Musings

I just got back from taking a walk with Meleana through downtown Culver City. We walked Gary to work and then hung out on in front of Restaurant Row. She's so cute when she smiles at the people strolling by. Just yesterday she started talking again. Gary and I were surprised because she hadn't really said anything in two weeks. She'll laugh and giggle a lot, cry and scream every once in a while, but no babbling. It's funny because she would make this "Yoda face" and blow air through her closed lips, like she's trying to say something but nothing would come out. So now she's back to "ba-ba-ba-ba".

Last night she learned how to climb up on the futon. She also knows how to find me in the apartment. If she's with Dad in the living room and she knows I went to the bathroom, she'll crawl over and greet me through the door with her adorable toothless grin (well, she's got a tooth in the front poking out). She still makes "zerberts" when she's bored and her favorite pastime is pulling out all the DVDs from the shelves after she's done flipping through the pages of her "The Story of Mary" book. Every so often we'll put her in her makeshift Pampers boxcar that Gary made her and take her for a ride across the living room floor, though most of her day is spent exploring and learning as much as she can about our humble abode.

We're still teaching her words and numbers as much as we can, though we haven't moved as quickly through the program as Doman prescribes because I've had a hard time keeping up with making the cards. Nevertheless, she really likes it so we're just going to try to step it up again now that I'm on vacation. She loves the Word World segments on YouTube, and since she sees me on the computer a lot, anything she gets to watch on the computer is always a treat for her.

Word World is now one of my favorite kid shows - it promotes children's literacy through this world that is made up of words. Everything is spelled out...from the characters' bodies to their houses and their furniture. It's pretty neat because it uses literacy concepts like phonics and word segmentation to stimulate reading. What's interesting is that Don Moody was inspired to create the show as his young child was growing through the early developmental stages. He himself was a Title I student who knew the importance of building a solid foundation in early childhood literacy. For those of you with little munchkins at home (or want to have a little munchkin someday), check it out! It's on every day at 10:30am on PBS.

Happy Anniversary!

To celebrate two years, Gary, Meleana, and I attended Mass at SPC, had lunch at Macaroni Grill, then drove down to San Diego and stayed overnight at The Catamaran in Mission Bay. Kudos to Jaimee for recommending this place for our little getaway! She told me about it last year, so I thought we could try it out since a trip to Hawaii isn't in our budget this year. =)

It was overcast and chilly on Tuesday so we didn't get to go swimming, but we had a really nice view of the bay from our room and got to watch a torch-lighting ceremony with a half-hour hula/Tahitian performance, complete with a fire-knife dance! For dinner, we went to Nick's Seafood and had Sesame Crusted Ahi, Mustard Crusted Salmon, and this DELICIOUS tiramisu for dessert! I wanted to finish it but I couldn't because I was so full, but it was soooo good!!!

On Wednesday, we strapped the baby in Gary's Snugli and walked around Pacific Beach to the Pier where they have these little cottages built right above the ocean. They were really cute, but I don't think I'd get a good night's sleep hearing waves crashing right below me. =p On the way back home, we stopped by Torrance to eat dinner and buy some bread from King's Hawaiian so I could make grilled cheese sandwiches. I'm super-excited to make them because 1) they're very yummy, and 2) I can't mess up cooking them...hahaha =)

Even if we're on a limited cash flow these days, it's nice that we still managed to fit in a mini-vacation of some sort for our anniversary. We could definitely do San Diego again or go back to Glen Ivy (last year's spot), but next year we might try something new - who knows? With life so incredibly busy and time flying by at lightning speed, those yearly celebrations are worth taking time out to appreciate how precious our relationship is to us...

Greatest Days with Gary

Yesterday was definitely a day that makes it on the "Greatest Days with Gary" list. Since we needed to postpone our July 4th plan to hang out with family, Gary, Meleana, and I spent early Saturday afternoon with Leilani at Splash in La Mirada. It was our first time there, and it was so fun! Meleana loved the water park - seeing all the different fountains and watching Ate run through them. The four of us went through the Lazy River (that's the COOLEST part)...Gary on an inner tube, Leilani swimming ahead, and me carrying Meleana in a baby life jacket. She was scared when we got in the water, but she got used to it after a while. Gary and Leilani are so funny - they did a Shamu show impersonation at the edge of the kiddie pool. =) It's too bad we don't live closer...we'd definitely get a season pass and go there all the time!

After we took Leilani home, we went to 99 Ranch Market to buy the rest of the ingredients for Gary's seafood boil. I had no idea what this dish was until I saw it being cooked on TV, and he had this urge to cook it so we planned a get-together at Em and Rob's house to make it for the family. You know, 99 Ranch is a lot nicer than it was back in the 90's when I used to go with my parents. It's cleaner and doesn't smell as fishy...and they have a nice little bakery, too. Honestly, my favorite section is the ice cream, but we had to go pick out some crawfish, shrimp, and crab. I don't know anything about buying seafood because I dreaded having to watch my dad handle the live crabs and throw them in the bag. So sad for the reject crabs that don't get picked because they are missing limbs...but I guess they get to live longer! The whole time we were there I was just imagining "Finding Nemo" and what the fish and crabs would be saying if they could talk...hehe =)

So we get to Em and Rob's and Gary hits the kitchen. Everyone else starts showing up and we're all pretty much hanging out as he's hard at work making this seafood boil. The effort he puts into the preparation of anything he makes is impressive, and so is the presentation. But THIS time, he outdid himself! It was AMAZING...even more so because it was his first try. Those who cook well are surely ones to be admired because it takes patience and a lot of care and attention to make food so delicious (that's why I just wash dishes!). We had a great time enjoying this wonderful meal...all gathered around the table in the backyard with the seafood spread mixed with sausage, potatoes, and corn...drinking Emeline's lemonade and finishing it off with Jenn and Dave's Nutella ice cream cones.

My husband finds so much joy from serving other people, whether it be cooking for them or helping them heal from an injury. It has been the greatest experience being married to him these past two years and watching him make people happy (most especially Meleana!). Thank you, Lord, for sending me such a blessed gift in Gary. What an awesome journey this is...