"Please don't waste the Blood of Jesus"

Precious words from an amazing homily I heard today at Mass.

There is a spiritual aching in my heart for more...more of Him...a thirst for His love and consolation...a desire to keep Him first. It hurts so much that it feels like a form of suffering...so much that I can't even cry the tears hidden behind the mask I wear...and something weighs my spirit down, making me so incredibly sad.

I don't know what else to do except to ask Him for what I need...because I can't even tell what that is...what will fill me up and help me reconnect.

My relationship with Him is strong, but not strong enough. I don't want to just reach out for His hand and feel His grip around my wrist. I want to fall into His arms and experience the depth of His love.

So even this aching...I will offer up to Him,
and pray that He will hear the cry of my heart.

Amen.

+AMDG+

"God gave Himself to you: give yourself to God."

– Bl. Robert Southwell

God's greatest gift

Yay! =)

Yes, it's been hot...but it's days like today that I'm kinda glad we live out in the Westside because it's even hotter in BP.

Anyway, I just want to say thanks to my familia for hanging out at the Ukulele Festival this past weekend. It was SOOOO great!!! Very reminiscent of Hawaii where we were sitting under a big tree in the park listening to live Hawaiian music. What was even better was seeing all the folks walking around with their ukuleles, just hanging out and going to all the workshops. Not a huge crowd but I really liked the experience. I also learned different strumming patterns and picking exercises from the instructor who taught Jake in Hawaii! Gary even ran into the moderator of LMU's Hawaiian Club who he knew when he was in college. Super-excited about the electric tuner we bought. I'm so motivated to get more hours of practice in! =)

On a side note, I've come to the conclusion that I really like the month of October. We celebrate the feast of St. Therese on the 1st, the Guardian Angels on the 2nd, St. Francis of Assisi on the 4th, Our Lady of the Holy Rosary today, Meleana's birthday on the 14th, the feast of St. Teresa of Avila on the 15th, and St. Paul of the Cross on the 20th. My parents also got married on the 18th, which makes it even that much more special. It's a little crazy at work with ITBS testing and Parent Conferences, but there's just a spirit of calm amidst the waves I guess you can say. I was stressed out a few days ago, but things are better now. The prayer routine I have with the kids, daily Mass at SJS, and those spontaneous conversations with Jesus help tremendously.

I noticed that some days my tummy looks big and on other days, it doesn't. Very slow weight gain this time around compared to the pregnancy with Meleana. I've only put on 4 pounds since the very beginning. I guess that's good because it's very controlled. Being married to Gary has given me a great appreciation for good food, but I've been disciplined enough not to eat too much of it! I'm determined to keep my sugar levels low enough so that Dr. Baggot doesn't cut EVERYTHING out of my diet like he did last time! I'll have to get some tips from Jaymee... =)

Okay, enough rambling... TTFN!