I think I saw a foot!

After school I looked down at my tummy and saw (and felt!) something protruding next to my belly button! I lightly massaged the area and the baby moved his/her foot back with the rest of his/her body. That was pretty cool. =)

The first week of school went really well. Aside from being a little tired and having swollen feet from standing all day, I must say that I am so glad to be back with the kids and my coworkers. I'm having a great time trying new things in my classroom and I'm looking forward to the many opportunities I will have to use what I learned in my Ed Psych class from LMU Summer Session.

I haven't had a teacher who has inspired me that way in a long time. Dr. Binfet sparked a new passion for so many different aspects of teaching that I am incredibly grateful for having been taught by him. This guy COMMUTES from Canada to Los Angeles just for his classes on the weekends, and now I see why the school does not want to let him go. Amazing man. He's a farmer and a principal of a small community school, and he has this way with people that makes you feel so comfortable and open to experiencing new things. I've always loved being a teacher, but now that love is reaching a whole new level...and that is exciting.

Good times.

I could use some ice cream right about now...

Streets of NYC

Lord, grant me the patience to remain silent when I would rather defend myself,
the humility to receive correction or advice that is given with the best intentions,
and the grace to know that I must always look to You in all situations and circumstances.
Amen.

******************************

"In the Catholic Church, you have to feed yourself. You have to go out and look for what it is that helps you grow."
- Dani Cullens

PRAISE GOD FOR THE EUCHARIST.
Food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty.
Gift from God, waiting for me to receive.
Jesus Himself.
It can't get any better than this.

How Do I Love Thee?

My relationship with God...I'm not sure exactly what about it is in question...at least in my own mind...but it occured to me in Mass this evening that I do love Him. I may not always feel His presence, but I know He's there with me...especially in the Blessed Sacrament. I think I'd just like to know why I am so hesitant and apprehensive...why I'm not confident in this relationship. Because I know He loves me. I know I love Him. Maybe I feel that I'm not doing enough for Him...that I have to make Him proud of me like I felt I had to make my parents proud of me when I was younger. I have to understand, however, that God is a little different. While I know that my mom and dad did love me and made sacrifices for my well-being, God is even infinitely more loving. If I make mistakes, He is always ready to forgive me and to give me the graces to get back up and try again. I don't have to worry about being a disappointment because He sees that I'm trying. He knows that I'm not perfect and He accepts that. And He's constantly calling me back into His arms, not as a judge but as a Father.

We truly do have such an awesome God.

I think I've been so hard on myself because I thought for so long that I needed to apologize to the world for who I am and what I do. I think I take constructive criticism pretty well if I know it's coming from someone who's rooting me on, but if it's harsh and condemning, it just hurts and makes me want to give up. Now that I'm a parent and have to make decisions with my husband for my own family, I'm seeing that I cannot wait for the approval of other people...for the pat on the back...for the encouragement to move forward in those decisions.

I'm learning...a lot.

Being married and pregnant have both taught me how to grow up. It wasn't that long ago when I honestly looked to my mom and my spiritual director to tell me what to do when I couldn't figure out God's will for my life. Neither of them would give me answers because they told me that ultimately my choices had to be my own because I'd be the one to live with the consequences that came with them. They both gave good advice...most of which I followed...but when I ventured off on my own and took a leap of faith to follow the promptings of my heart, I realized how important it was to know myself deeply and listen to the subtle ways God was guiding me.

Maybe I just had to become comfortable with the fact that I'm not a little girl anymore.

I'm a woman...a wife...a mother...a teacher. I can think for myself, but I'm not all-knowing. People will look at me and see either a lot less or a lot more than what I really am, but God knows what I'm really made of. And it's His opinion of me that counts more than anyone else's. I will not compromise what I know is right and just. I will not conform to the ways of the world. God be my help and my strength, for there will be many who will not understand. I just have to remember the responsibility I have for my own soul and those around me...to love, to forgive, to pray and to serve.

My treasure is in Heaven, and I'm simply making my journey HOME.