Vanity of vanities, and all is vanity

"He who follows me does not walk in darkness." (Jn 8:12)

Has the pain become so unbearable that you cannot go on loving, little one? What is it? Allow the roots to be exposed in order for the weeds to be pulled out of the soil in your soul. Let it out. Just let it all out.

I look around and I say that it isn't fair, but I look at the Cross and realize that His death wasn't, either. Judgments made...reputations ruined...relationships broken. But then, I, too, at one point in time have contributed as well. Maybe I'm so sad because I see pieces of me out there in the people I care about. I'm put to shame by the faults I so easily recognize.

Perhaps I can't come to grips with the fact that this world, these people, and I myself are all imperfect. False idealism. Wanting everything to be peachy when unfortunately it never will be. At least not in this world. The optimistic idealist vs. the realistic pessimist as Fr. Shannon had described it. Life as I know it will never be fair because I hold within my own heart my partialities, preferences, and prejudices. We all do in one form or another.

But God calls us to rise above and beyond what we know so that the depth of our vision will penetrate into the tabernacle of each soul. All is vanity when seen through Heaven's eyes. Nothing has value apart from God, but found in Him used for the purpose of salvation and sanctification, all created things and creatures become priceless.

I still believe in faith, hope, and love. I still believe that Our Lord's presence is so evident all around me. I still believe that we can continue claiming more of the kingdom for God.

So what exactly do I have to change?

I have to keep letting go of attachments. I really have to. Daily acts of self-denial. It has to happen, otherwise certain things will keep distracting me and prevent me from seeing the face of Christ wherever I go. Let it all go...

"He holds the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. The ear surely can test the words as the tongue tastes the food; wisdom is found in the old, and understanding in great age; in God however is wisdom and power; His are counsel and understanding.

What He tears down, none can rebuild; the one He imprisons, none can release. If He withholds water, there is drought; if He lets it loose, there is flood. In Him are strength and perception; deceived and deceiver are in His power. He leads counselors away stripped and makes fools of judges. He loosens the belt of kings and ties a loincloth about their waist. He leads priests away, barefoot, and overthrows those in power. He compels advisors to keep silent, and strips elders of their discernment. He puts princes to shame; He unties the girdle of the strong. He makes a nation rise and fall, a people to grow and to dwindle. He deprives leaders of their judgment, leaving them to roam in a trackless waste. Without light, they grope in the dark and stagger like drunkards." (Job 12:10-25)