Hey, who turned out the lights?

On...off..back on.

I feel like a light switch. Every once in a while something happens...it gets dark and I don't know where I'm going. I try to remember where things are but I seem to forget and find myself stumbling around trying to find my way.

Someone flipped the switch. I can see again. Thank God.

Life is hard...but we don't tell little kids that when they grow up they will get their hearts broken, they will face disappointments, and people won't want to be their friends. We don't tell them that they will probably have at least one job they don't like...that they will lose family members and loved ones...that they will struggle and face days when they will want to give up...we don't tell them they will get sick and someday die.

We look at children and we appreciate them because they are able to enjoy their days, and we do everything we can to protect them and educate them so that they are able to face the challenges that come their way as smoothly as possible. Of course we don't paint a picture of life that deludes them into thinking that it's perfect, but we try to encourage...not discourage. Why? Because the very situations they will face will already threaten their self-confidence and even their faith.

I speak of the above because it pertains to a few major areas of my life, most especially my career and my relationship with my fiance and with my God.

I was told not to get a Master's in Theology because the job outlook wasn't great. Society says that 60% of marriages will end in divorce. The path to Heaven is long and narrow and very few people enter into the gates of Heaven.

As they say, statistics work against me.

But I don't want statistics to dictate my life and direct my path. That's God's job. Just because other people are doing other things - working other jobs, making other choices in their relationships and walking other paths - doesn't mean that I should devalue what I do or who I am.

There is a road I've been set on, with many twist and turns and forks to choose. There is a job I was given and a time of training necessary in order to do well so that people who were lost could have a light to follow. There is a man I happened to meet along the way who would be my companion...one who would help me persevere through the rough terrain and enjoy the beauty along the way. There is a God who would guide us both...who would lead and encourage...who would inspire and strengthen...who would see us to the very end.

And no, I'm not doing any of it out of obligation or because I have no where else to go. I'm making a choice to be here because I want to be.

When I look at the teenagers who I am choosing to serve - I see how they need my knowledge and understanding...and I see how I need their reality to teach me something about the world.

When I look at the man I am choosing to marry - I see how he needs my support and acceptance...and I see how I need the love that he has to give so that I can simply learn to receive God's blessing for me.

When I look at my Jesus on the cross who I am choosing to follow - I see how He needs me to bring His presence to others through my life...and I see how I need everything that He has ever been for everyone who came before me, knowing that my work and my love will not be in vain because it is His work that I do and His love that I give.

I'm sorry...I'm sorry it took me so long to see it, Lord, and I beg for your grace to keep my eyes open.

THE REFLECTION OF ETERNAL LIGHT
"I have come to know everything we see and everything hidden, because Wisdom, who designed them all, taught me.

In her is a spirit that is intelligent, saintly, unique, manifold, subtle, active, concise, pure and lucid. It cannot corrupt, loves what is good and nothing can restrain it; it is beneficent, loving humankind, steadfast, dependable, calm though almighty. It sees everything and penetrates all spirits, however intelligent, subtle and pure they may be.

Wisdom, in fact, surpasses in mobility all that moves, and being so pure pervades and permeates all things.

She is a breath of the power of God, a pure emanation of the glory of the Almighty; nothing impure can enter her. She is a reflection of eternal light, a spotless mirror of God's action and an image of His goodness.

She is but one, yet Wisdom can do all things and, herself unchanging, she renews all things. She enters holy souls, making them prophets and friends of God, for God loves only those who live with Wisdom.

She is indeed more beautiful than the sun and surpasses all the constellations; she outrivals light, for light gives way to night, but evil cannot prevail against Wisdom." (Wisdom 7:21-29)

Mary, Seat of Wisdom, please pray for us.