Something's missing

...so I'll pray to St. Anthony to help me find that part of me that used to be so open in sharing my faith.

I think I lost it. Sounds funny, I know, but I've been wondering lately where it went. Maybe it's because I don't have certain people around me as much who would always be so excited to share what they were learning or experiencing with me (yes, Jaymee, that would include you!)...or who's eyes would light up when I'd talk about Mass or adoration. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I just...miss it.

All of you out there that check back every once in a while, I miss you guys. You know who you are, and I know you remember those times. I want to go back to the Disco at the Days retreat. I want to sit in the Anaheim Convention Center Arena and listen to Fr. Bill Casey give his blow-you-away homilies. I want to listen to Mother Regina Marie share her faith experiences at SCRC. I want to pray with people again...to hold their hands in mine and know that the Spirit is moving so powerfully within them.

Recharge. That's the word I'm looking for.

Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be open to you.

I'm asking, seeking, and knocking.

And you’re just what I’ve been waiting for
To come and take me in
To grab ahold and take control and make me whole again
And if you need my everything
You can take it all and more
Just help me get back where we were before

I’ve grown numb to some things
Hunger for one thing
That takes me back to where it all began
I know we’ve grown apart
But every now and then
I just close my eyes and here we are again

- from "Where We Were Before" by Blessid Union of Souls

Don't get me wrong. Life is great and I'm really thankful for what I have. I am curious, though, to see where these next few months will take me. However it ends up, I've got to trust You with it.

"We shall never learn to know ourselves except by endeavoring to know God; for, beholding His greatness, we realize our own littleness; His purity shows us our foulness; and by meditating upon His humility we find how very far we are from being humble."
- Saint Teresa of Avila