Family Life

SAINT OF THE DAY
St. Gianna Molla (1922-1962)
Gianna was a physician and surgeon who frequently worked with mothers, babies, the elderly, and the poor. While pregnant, she was diagnosed with a cyst, and her surgeon recommended an abortion in order to save Gianna's life; she refused and died a week after childbirth.

"O Jesus, I promise You to submit myself to all that You permit to befall me, make me only know Your Will."
– St. Gianna Molla

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I said I would choose the life of my child over my own...even if the baby was not born yet...that child is still alive.

At this stage in my life, I'm not longer making decisions for myself. That sounds so strange because it may seem that I have been and always will be bound to another person's welfare. As a child, I obeyed (most of the time) and listened to what my parents told me to do...for my own good. Now that I'm almost 30, everything I do is purposed for the good of someone else.

These days, it's either for my fiance and for the children that God may bless us with. They even have to come before my job, my students, my immediate family, and my ministry work. This is what it means to grow up...to leave the life you had lived as a young person and take responsibility for the commitments you have made.

I'm getting married in two months...moving out of my house away from my family for the first time. In almost four months I'll be starting a new job in a new community...allowing my identiy to evolve as it is influenced by even more people and experiences.

All because I've been trying my best to be faithful to a calling that has sounded like more of a quiet whisper in my heart...leading me to a place for a reason I cannot clearly see.

The questions seem to have squatted into a corner of my mind, making their home amidst even the confirmations. I occassionally find myself asking in all respects, "Am I making the right decision?"

It broke my heart to tell the KAIROS leaders that I will not be at Verb next year. Painful for me and for them, as they made it very apparent by their concern. Yet somehow I know it's time...somehow I know that we'll make this work because I'm not completely walking away.

That community is too close to my heart.

It's surprising how two years can change you like that...but after getting to know these kids, it's not surprising at all.

Dear Jesus, please carry me through the sadness and give me the joy that will bring me peace. Amen.