Basta Ikaw

Theme from "The Cardinal"

Should my heart not be humble, should my eyes fail to see
Should my feet sometimes stumble on the way, stay with me
Like a lamb that in springtime, wanders far from the fold
Come the darkness and the frost, I get lost, I grow cold

I grow cold, I grow weary, and I know I have sinned
And I go seeking shelter and I cry in the wind

Though I grope, and I blunder and I'm weak, and I'm wrong
though the road buckles under where I walk, walk alone
Till I find to my wonder every path leads to Thee
All that I can do is pray, "stay with me, stay with me."

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Some time ago, three friends of mine invited me to a retreat that became one of many turning points in my life. I spent three days emptying myself of everything that stood in the way of my relationship with Jesus. The experience broke me down in a way that none other could...to the point where I knew I was nothing without Him. It hurt, but then it healed me.

I remember climbing down the ladder from the loft in the middle of the night and being drawn into the disco to Kuya Jess. Yes, it seemed that the staffers were keeping vigil, but in reality, He was keeping vigil over us.

That weekend I knew that I was loved. I had known before, but this time it was different. He still seemed so far away, as if He was not allowing me to get attached to any kind of feeling per say. Yet His presence slowly permeated my heart. Permeated. My sister really likes that word, so I thought I'd use it in a sentence for her. =)

For the invitation, I will always be grateful. Dorothy, Jei Franxis, and Leo - you were the "angels" who joined me in the world of sorrow that enfolded me throughout the Days experience. You shared a treasure that rescued me from that darkness...the darkness that I had to face and leave at the foot of the Cross in order to see the light of the Resurrection.

And to those who wrapped their arms around me and held my hand along the journey - Noreen, Eileen, Francia, Dianne, Emily, Arlene, Mina, and my sisters of Batch #29: Angie, Flo, Marites, Kathy, and the rest - whether you ever get to read this or not - I lift my prayers up to the heavens for you. I learned from you that everything I was given and all that will ever receive is to be taken with open hands and an open heart.

Basta ikaw, Lord. All for you. All for you...