You have lost your first love

This is true. What fervor you had in the beginning when you first met Jesus as a child and grew up with Him in the safety of your home and your school. There were people all around you who inspired love for His sacraments, His word, and His works. When you were removed from the familiarity, you felt as if you lost yourself because you didn't hear about Him as often. Life got busy...and distracting. This was your story for many years, continuing on during junior high and high school...onto college...where anything and everything stood between you and Him.

Then all of a sudden, you noticed that you didn't have anything left. According to the world's standards, you had it all. You were admired. People followed you and listened to your every word. They wanted your life. But none of it satisfied you. There was a hole in your heart that ached to be filled. And you found out soon enough that the emptiness within you could only be filled with God.

"It might be boring at first," they told you. You didn't care. Anything was better than feeling that interior pain of wanting something that you couldn't find. So you went and you loved it because for the first time in your life, you experienced a taste of God's love...God's personal love for you. Theoretically, you knew He loved you, but it was different now. You shared that joy you had seen many times in your sister's eyes when she spoke of Him and all he was doing in her life. What seemed so far off and unattainable was real...so real that you couldn't help but be changed.

Then the question came...

"Mommy, how come people want to be doctors and lawyers and engineers when they grow up, but no one ever says they want to be a saint? If we all can be saints, shouldn't they want to be one?" (pause) "I want to be a saint."

She chuckled and said, "You can be a saint."

You replied, "No, I can't. Someone has to kill me for my faith first."

"No, it's easy to be a saint. Read the autobiography of St. Therese. You'll see that all you have to do is do little things for God. I thought you had to do something great, too, but the way she puts it is so simple."

And that changed EVERYTHING.

Your mother is a wise woman, and you have received much from her that has worked miracles in your soul. She is like Mary...she doesn't say much, but when she does, it is quite the profound statement.

Go back and remember. Remember. You have heard that word repeated many times thus far because to remember is to re-member...to once again rejoin to yourself what was apparently "lost". Your Papa Jon called them "Life's milestones". He said to go back to these moments because they will remind you of how God has moved and transformed you. Your path is filled with many of them. Go back. Be not afraid of the past. It has much to teach you.

"But how can they call upon the name of the Lord without having believed in Him? And how can they believe in Him without first having heard about Him? And how will they hear about Him if no one preaches about Him? And how will they preach about Him if no one sends them? As Scripture says: How beautiful are the feet of the messenger of good news." (Rom 10:14-15)