AWW...BUT YAY! (a.k.a. "finding joy in God's plan")

I'm still laughing about a check-up conversation I had last night w/Leo cuz he called me a B2-Bomber...hahaha =) It's quite the challenge being an idealistic realist. That's such an oxymoron...total contradiction...but that's how I've turned out, being that God made me a very hopeful person...always trying to look for the silver lining on dark clouds, rainbows after the storms, the potential butterfly in the caterpillar...but a couple years of SPC formation has trained me to be cautious. Not scared (though the temptation towards fear does get to me sometimes), but more along the lines of prudence so I'm not going against the will of God.

The pull of the world is strong, and I totally know what Fred's talking about when you sometimes feel like compromising your values and standards to keep up and get in "good" with everyone else, but I always ask myself if it's worth it. Then I go back to recent conversations I've had with Jaymee and Maurice about staying focused...deepening one's spirituality through prayer and your surrounding environment...and I remember, the ultimate goal is Heaven. That is the only joy promised to last forever. Really, it is.

My students asked me if they party in Heaven. I thought that was funny. I said, "Well, that all depends on what you mean by that. Are you asking if they have fun there? I'm sure they do!" And James asks, "Hey, Ms. Soratorio, will you party with me in Heaven when we get there?" haha...my kids are so cute...okay so they're 15-year-old guys and everything, but they still crack me up. =)

I'm extremely grateful for my life right now...just how it's been going, no matter whether it seems good or not so good...God's still in it all. I know I've been saying that lately, but honestly, I pray that I'll feel this way every day. Praise the Lord! Rob's blog totally echoes what's in my heart, and I'm happy, too, that he's experiencing this as well. When I was at the Moya house the other night, I noticed that he had that joyful presence I'd been hoping to see...very at peace with things. Not that you haven't been that way over the years, Robby, but it's great that the light of God is shining through the way it is in you now. I think it's the ukulele...hahaha =)

I'm glad you're my brother, Rob. I remember Em telling me in Maui: "All that's going to matter in the end, B.anne, is your family and the guy who loves you"...words flowing from her heart as my sister and your wife. So here you are with our family and I thank God that He made you a part of it.

Leilani, my sidekick, is another one I am SO super-thankful for. We share a lot of funny moments together...different adventures...normal everyday happenings...and it's always so great. Yesterday, as we were driving to SPC for Mass, she wanted to listen to the Jesus story on the way there and she asked me if we could go back and look at the Pope's stuff (she'd gone to the Vatican exhibit twice...hehe). I told her they had to take the "Pope's stuff" back because they belonged in his house. Then she got all excited to see Uncle Jay...no matter where he is in the church, she always seems to find him and point him out. Her face also lit up when she saw Tita Jenevee there, too. When we got home, she wanted to call Tita Jaymee so she could talk to Ahlauna on the phone. Lyn-lyn and I overheard their conversation and we couldn't stop laughing because she just took my cell phone and was going on and on. Haha...how cute! For the past four years, she's been the one who's held us together as a family ever since Daddy died. Definitely our little angel...

I love my family. Kings, that includes you, too. Jaymee gets extra credit because she can bake the best desserts...(with Mo's uh...supervision?) hehehe =) My mom is always there to pray and talk and listen. Abie is so full of practical advice. When we get "sister time", both Em and Lyn-lyn offer so much support in whatever it is I do. Each person is so awesome because we're all shooting for God's potential in our lives. He's always part of our conversation somehow. When someone's stressed out, someone else is there to say, "Just trust in Him. He'll take care of you." When everything's going well, we're thanking God together for His blessings.

But, really, all of you are the greatest because when I'm with you, I know who I am and can be me at all times. Sure, we've gone through lots of ups and downs...but having you here with our relationships turning out that much stronger just proves to me that His grace is truly the glue that binds us in spirit. For all the things that Love is in 1 Corinthians 13...patient, kind, without envy, not boastful or arrogant, not ill-mannered or self-seeking, overcoming anger and forgetting offenses, not taking delight in wrong, always rejoicing in truth, excusing everything, believing all things, and enduring all things...you all have shown to me.

I don't deserve all this, Lord, but I do thank You for who You've given me to love and to serve. I may not show my appreciation all the time, but I do pray that You'll show them how much You love them through what You can do in me. Amen.