The Heart of a Woman

My husband gave me a compliment this morning. It was after he asked me for answers to his Family Feud game. "What do people who chew gum do that is obnoxious?"

"Crack their gum. Blow bubbles. Stick it underneath tables," I said as I was getting ready for work.

"Hey, those are good answers," Gary replied. "You're so smart."

"That's why I'm a teacher."

"Babe, you're pretty AND smart!" As I turn to look at him, he has this silly grin on his face beaming with all sincerity.

All I do is stare at Gary blank-faced and turn back to the mirror. I didn't know how to respond to him because I only believed half of it. So I gave him a very cynical "Thanks."

A few minutes later, he comes into the bedroom and to tell me, "You really are pretty, Babe. I wasn't just saying that."

He felt the need to try to convince me. Now, you're probably wondering if this was the first time Gary has told me I was pretty. No, it wasn't. And my 7th & 8th grade girls are very generous with their compliments when they notice my hair is different or I'm wearing something they really like. I have heard it many times before, but for some reason today I took it differently, as if he was the only person in the world who ever associated that word with me.

And that became my morning meditation on my way to work. I realized that the reason why I couldn't accept such nice words from my husband is because no one ever told me I was pretty when I was younger. The fact of the matter was that growing up, I really wasn't pretty. I knew I was smart, though, because people told me that all the time. My parents, my grandparents, my teachers, and my friends. 

But deep down inside, I just wanted to be pretty.

I'm not trying to sound superficial. Please trust me when I say that I still believe virtue is worth more than a fancy hairdo and an expensive wardrobe. What I want to share with you is that it dawned on me during my drive to work that I still have insecurities. They are rooted in my childhood and have grown into my identity as a woman. 

Do I want people to think I'm pretty now? I honestly don't know. Do I care enough to try to mold my physical appearance into the standard that the secular media often portrays? Definitely not. But I do know that I want to be cherished. I want to be adored and loved because that's what every woman's heart desires.

My husband is trying to show me how much he cherishes me. I know he adores and loves me. The feeling, of course, is mutual. I think the lesson that I learned today is that God wanted to heal something in my heart that was broken a long time ago. And it's not God's fault for not making me pretty enough. I don't need to forgive people for not giving me enough compliments. I need to accept that my true worth is found in my Maker, and He works so hard to love me through the man he gave to me who really does see me with the eyes of Jesus.

I am no longer defined by the labels I have been given or even the thoughts that run through my head when I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I am BELOVED and I have a purpose in this world. That purpose is far more important than the way I look or what others think of me. And it is my responsibility to share that same message with young women today who are tossed about in the current of pop culture. I have two little girls of my own who I need to raise...whose SECURITY is found rooted in the Word of God, and whose beauty is adorned by the grace and merits of the Holy Spirit.

Such is the heart of this woman...

NOTE: This epiphany hit hard after last night's performance at "Women's Night Out". The songs performed by Moriah Peters and BarlowGirl were all about the importance of inner beauty and finding our value in God. Check out their music on iTunes and YouTube if you need some encouragement. You won't be disappointed! :)