Lessons

Things are not exactly as I would have them to be, but God always knows best. He's trying to teach me lessons I should have learned a long time ago. In His great mercy, He is allowing me to discover the great value of experiences I could never really understand before.

I was talking to one of my friends about teenagers not truly understanding the sacrifices that other people make for them every day. As a teacher, that sometimes frustrates me, but I've been asking God for the strength to persevere anyway. In the middle of praying my morning rosary, I realized that I was the exact same way when I was their age.

It was all about me and my friends and my life and what I wanted. I took for granted that my parents worked so hard for us, just so we could get a good education and a roof over our heads. When my mom wasn't home, I assumed that work was more important to her than we were. When my dad died, I didn't know how difficult it was for her to try and play both mom and dad...to try and discipline us because he wasn't there to do it anymore. I didn't get it.......for a long time.

Not until I fell into her role.

Maybe I don't face the exact same circumstances that she faced, but I am feeling a lot of what she did. I now work long hours and hold more than one job...spending a few hours a day on the freeway to get there...coming home tired and worn from the demands of teaching. I am also having to "lay down the hammer" at school because the dynamics have shifted since our team has changed this last year.

Last week I wasn't feeling it anymore. Yesterday, I was still having a hard time. But God is always so good at coming through for me and letting me know that this has to happen for my own good...even if it doesn't feel so great. I need to REALLY, TRULY appreciate my mother for all the different ways she has loved us. I always said that I wanted her faith, and I wanted my prayers to be as strong as hers. But the only way that I can be like her is to be molded in much of the same way she was.

My mom knows how to persevere. She knows how to suffer well. She's gone through so much in her life, and she's never given up hope.

So I decided this morning to finally place all my desires, frustrations, and plans into the hands of God.....because I sure wasn't getting anywhere with them all by myself.

And that's when this song came on:

Safe
By Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free


I don't doubt God, but I sure don't let Him handle my life the way I need him to. And when I let Him be who He is, things start to fall into place. Today was actually a great day, and most of it came from the decision I made to be different. I suppose that's the fruit of my long commute. If I only had 15 minutes to get to work, maybe I wouldn't have the time to listen to Him like this.

So, dear Lord, thank you for answering my cry out to you. Thank you for not leaving me alone. Amen.

+AMDG+