“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. " - Yoda

Most important one

I gave this book to Leo as a graduation present a couple of years ago, and last year I asked for it from my Kris Kringle. If you want a simple book that helps you with life's greatest questions, this is a keeper. It isn't religious per say but for those who wonder whether or not they are following the will of God, it gives you a very practical yet humble way of looking at your purpose in life. I've always been one to plan where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, but circumstances have taught me that this moment is most important. Who you are with at that moment matters the most, and nothing else.

I guess this entry comes from the fear that in waiting for Heaven here on earth, so many opportunities to "meet Jesus" would pass me by. I long to be a very "now" kind of Christian who appreciates what has happened and what is to come yet doesn't allow the past or the future to rob me of the present.

This makes me think of an Augustinian priest - a friend of Fr. Kevin's - who visited for a short time and gave really cool talks with really cool pictures. He spoke of these matters and reminded us that we shouldn't get too caught up in everything we have to do and everything we want to plan. It's those times when I truly relished in the moment...like on my wedding day...that I felt as through I was really LIVING life.

On another note, last night at confession, the priest told me to have a conversation with myself, asking myself why I fall into particular sinful tendencies. When I thought about it, the answers came immediately and from an "outsider's" viewpoint, it didn't make sense. So I had a talk with me. It was a good short talk. Not lengthy at all. It was very practical and straight to the point. I will always struggle with imperfections, but if I take more time to sit with Jesus...if I take more time to think about my actions...if I take more time to pray...and if I ask for more and more humility and grace, God will help me.

I just want to be simple...

"The greatest greatest honor God can do for a soul is not to give it much, but to ask much of it."
~ St. Therese of Lisieux

By His stripes we are healed

V. We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you.

R. Because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world.

Not the first to struggle and definitely not the last. Others have fought and won. Many have tried and lost, but I look to the ones who have gained victory through you. When I look upon your holy wounds, I dare not say that my life is too hard or my cross to heavy. I cannot cry out and blame you for anything I have suffered. There is no reason to walk away...there never has been. How can I bear the name "Christian" and live in this world serving myself? This life...it doesn't even belong to me. When it's over, what will be left but my soul searching for its true home? This path...you have paved it for me and placed along the way some obstacles, some challenges, some thorns...but how many roses have I picked that have blessed my life with beauty?

I'm hungry

...and this is what I want to eat.

I know, I know. Not your typical Lenten entry. Let's try again...

Water for the spirit

Without prayer nothing good is done. God's works are done with our hands joined, and on our knees. Even when we run, we must remain spiritually kneeling before Him.
– Bl. Luigi Orione

Much to do while much is being done. Never enough time but now always seems to be the best moment to stop and appreciate what He has given to us.

Jana and I talked a lot about a lot of things. But what most interesting were those brief pauses of silence in the conversation that were filled with peace. That's when you know you have made at true friend...when it's quiet and you're still comfortable. I also found it comforting that we think of each other...like a reaching out for the other when they are not there. She's a very special spiritual friend. Spiritual friends are hard to come by. Of course you have those you worship with and serve with, but there are those few whom you seek out when you're straining to hear the voice of God or those who really let you know that you're not crazy. Of those two years I spent passing through Verbum Dei on to the rest of my life, she is one of the people who has stayed with me. I said that I wondered what our conversations would be like ten years from now, but what I really can't wait for is the eternity I will spend with friends like her, sharing the lessons we learned while we were on earth.

It's kind of hard to fathom that, but...not really.

Thanks, Jana. Here's to not being "normal". =) I love you, my friend.

Cost of Discipleship

Whoever wishes to carry the cross for his sake must take up the proper weapons for the contest, especially those mentioned here. First, diligence; second, distrust of self; third, confidence in God; fourth, remembrance of Passion; fifth, mindfulness of one's own death; sixth, remembrance of God's glory; seventh, the injunctions of Sacred Scripture following the example of Jesus Christ in the desert.
– St. Catherine of Bologna

Lessons from the weekend...

• He loves me
• ...therefore, I must love myself as He loves me.
• I don't have to do anything to earn His love or get more of it...I just have to be me.
• There is nothing I experience that He cannot understand.
• If I were a first-century catechumen carrying the amount of fear that I have today, someone would have to challenge me and remind me that baptism could equal death.
• As a baptized Catholic, I must pray for the courage of the early Christian martyrs.
• If I was called to be a prophet, apostle, or teacher, I must remember: Blessed are those who are persecuted in My name...Take up your cross and follow Me...Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
• Jesus did not come here to be liked by everyone; He came here to speak the Truth.

"I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, nor of me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God." (2Tim 6-8)

Padre Pio, pray for us

"Pray, hope, and don't worry."

We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.
– St. Teresa of Avila

The journey continues

"Through your suffering, God is expanding your heart so that He can pour more of His love into it."

"It hurts me to see you hurting, but I know that you wouldn't choose any other way."

"You'll have good days and you'll have bad days. Whether you're single or married...whether you're a priest or a nun, there will always be difficulties. But God will be there every step of the way."

I'm so grateful to the friends I have. I'm grateful for the love that surrounds me every day that I haven't been able to appreciate as I should have.

My family and I were sitting around the table for lunch on Sunday, having the annual "What are you giving up for Lent?" discussion.

I thought about giving up meat. I realized yesterday that I need to give up myself. I need to sacrifice the pain from the losses that I have held on to for so many years. I need to sacrifice my pride that keeps me from offering myself more fully to others. I need to sacrifice the fear and the discouragement - the way of thinking that has kept me imprisoned...immobilized...stuck.

I need to give to Jesus my love. I need to give to my students the joy that comes from being faithful to God. I need to give to my family the support and prayers that only family can give. I need to give to my husband my heart...all of it...not just a portion of it but the whole thing.

No, I'm not giving up. I'm giving more.

So willingly I go, forty days with Him among the people.

By grace. AMDG.

Unstoppable

"In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit." –Jeremiah 17:8

...A disciple of Jesus is one who imitates Jesus in His character and His ministry. Disciples of Jesus follow Him wherever He leads, whether that path leads to the cross of Calvary or the glory of His resurrection.

A mature disciple of Christ will necessarily bear fruit for Him (Jn 15:16), "make disciples" (Mt 28:19), and disciple them in season and out of season (see 2 Tm 4:2, KJV). Nothing can stop disciples of Jesus from bearing fruit and making more disciples. Throughout Church history, persecution strengthens rather than weakens disciples. Disciples still bear fruit in the "year of drought" (Jer 17:8), for sorrows and difficulties lead us to the cross of Jesus, from Whom we draw our strength. God uses our failing health to make more disciples (see Gal 4:13). Even killing us can't stop the fruit of discipleship, because the blood of martyrs has always been the seed of Christians. "In all this we are more than conquerors because of Him Who has loved us" (Rm 8:37).

Historically, disciples of Jesus have only been stopped by themselves. When disciples "grow lazy" (Heb 6:12), take their eyes off Jesus (cf Heb 3:1; 12:2), and start treasuring the things of the world, they then paralyze themselves. Therefore, disciples of Christ, pick up your daily cross, die to yourself (Lk 9:23), make no provision for the desires of your flesh (Rm 13:14), and ask Jesus for more of the Holy Spirit. Be invincible and unstoppable. "Make disciples of all the nations" (Mt 28:19).

From One Bread, One Body - Reflection for February 11, 2007

Coming to the Rose Bowl near you

Save the Date!

MAY 19, 2007

6:00-9:00pm

Community like you've never experienced before...

http://www.rosarybowl.org/home.html

His words of encouragement

Brothers and sisters:
In your struggle against sin
you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.
You have also forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as children:
My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord
or lose heart when reproved by him;
for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines;
he scourges every son he acknowledges.
Endure your trials as “discipline”;
God treats you as his sons.
For what “son” is there whom his father does not discipline?
At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain,
yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness
to those who are trained by it.

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees.
Make straight paths for your feet,
that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed.

Strive for peace with everyone,
and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God,
that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble,
through which many may become defiled.
( Hebrews 12:18-19,21-24)

Light

Alone in the dark

A desp'rate life of begging

Will it ever end?

Crowds of people here

He gently rubs my blind eyes

Sends me to wash them

A gift I received

No one believes me - I see!

Have you met Him, too?

Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you.
– St. Thomas Aquinas

What am I Looking For Again?

His will. I've wanted to find His will. The problem is that I've been looking everywhere except for in my own heart.

Hi, God. It's me again. I know it's been a while...

I feel like I'm going into an IR monologue.

The dreams. I can't figure out what they mean. At least the ones that I can't clearly remember when I wake up. The ones that have left me tired when I wake up. And a little sad.

Talking to myself in the car on the way home, trying to make sense out of this search. I've been with you, but I haven't been able to find you.

Pieces of my life are scattered all over the place. That's how I feel because people who used to mean so much and influence so much are out there somewhere not a part of my life anymore.

I used to talk to my friends about detachment. I went through the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises and should be some sort of a pseudo-expert on the matter (or not)...but whatever the case may be, I'm suddenly wondering why I'm experiencing this "disconnectedness".

You just let go, right? You just move on, right?

It's not that easy.

But life...it never stays the same. It's so incredibly fluid...like water...because it's moving and growing and changing.

New people come into my world - new students, new coworkers, new strangers who become friends - and they're all great, like all the ones who came before them were great.

Maybe I just want to be like God and always be connected to everybody all the time.

But then Jesus didn't even have that luxury while he was here on earth. He was limited to time and space.

He had to leave his mother. He had to leave his friends. He even had to accept the murder of his own cousin.

He loved everybody, but he served the one right there in front of him.

He connected with the poor and the sick. He healed some of them, but not all of them. But his encounters with each of them - as simple as they were - were unforgettable. Why? Because he was WITH them. For that day, for that hour, for those few minutes...he was really with them.

So at least I can say that I've had those "Jesus-moments" with you, too. All the souls I have been so blessed to have grown up with and prayed with...cried with and laughed with. At least I have been able to share those days, those hours, those minutes with you.

I pray for you all often. Every day, actually. You might not think that I remember you, but I do. Your faces have been painted on the canvas of my heart because I once looked into your eyes and saw Him.

So wherever I go, I take you with me...you, in this communion of saints He brought into my life.

A Day to Remember, A Dream Come True

The blessing of God

of faith, hope, and love

uniting two lives as one

as a witness to His goodness

a sacrifice to be shared

surrounded by joy

reminding us all of what happens when we trust

in the Plan from above

The deepest desire of our Church

O God our Father, You promised "I will appoint shepherds for My sheep who will shepherd them so that they need no longer fear and tremble; and none shall be missing."(Jer. 23:4-5). Hear our prayers to call to the sacramental priesthood generous men who will desire nothing more than to serve You in imitation of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, our High Priest.

O Jesus, Good Shepherd, bless all parishes with numerous priests, deacons, men and women religious, consecrated laity and missionaries, according to the needs of the entire world.

Guide the steps of those who have responded generously to Your call and are preparing to receive Holy Orders or to profess the evangelical counsels. And after You call them, we pray that You sustain the doubtful, console the discouraged, and strengthen the weak as they start the long and demanding preparation for the priesthood.

Look with love on so many well-disposed people, young and old, and call them to follow You. To this end we call on the powerful intercession of Mary, mother and model of vocations.Mary, Mother of priests, and example of faithful, humble, and joyful acceptance of God's will, help all those who are called to the priesthood to open their ears and hearts to the gentle call of the Holy Spirit.

Lord Jesus, grant saintly priests to the world, priests who live close to the Eucharist, who have a deep spiritual life, who work and suffer, yet with a joyful heart; priests who dedicate each minute of their lives for the salvation of souls and Your Kingdom.

In Your Holy Name we pray. Amen.

Waking up from the dark night

"No devotion to the saints is more acceptable and more proper than if you strive to express their virtues." - Erasmus, Dutch scholar

Faith and Fortitude

MAGNIFICAT MEDITATION OF THE DAY

Advent is above all the "sacrament" of the Presence of God in the world and in time in his Incarnate Word, in his kingdon, above all his presence in our own lives as our Savior... Three reasons for our misery and helplessness:

• We are deceived in our judgments of good and evil
• Our attempts to do good fail, lead to nothing
• We do not succeed in our efforts to resist evil

The presence of Christ in us overcomes these obstacles. By faith he dwells in our heart and shows us how to judge between good and evil. He cannot deceive nor be deceived. He is the wisdom of God, always ready to teach us. Yet in order to have his light. we must use the grace he gives us to turn to him in our difficulties. By fortitude he strengthens our weakness, so that we can do all things in him. He never grows tired, for he is the power of God, ever ready to revive us and lift us up. But we must call upon him for help in our batttles. Finally, he "stands for" us, he resists within us. If he be for us, who can be against us?

The secret of spiritual fortitude is for us to abandon ourselves to Christ, the power of God, and then he himself will overcome evil and deliver us from forces that we would never be capable of resisting by ourselves. This is the fortitude of faith.

Christ lives in the world in those who take him for their light, their strength and their protection. It is for them that he came into the world in his Incarnation.