Life in Christ: CCC #2548
Desire for true happiness frees man from his immoderate attachment to the goods of this world so that he can find his fulfillment in the vision and beatitude of God. "The promise [of seeing God] surpasses all beatitude...In Scripture, to see is to possess...Whoever sees God has obtained all the goods of which he can conceive."
The Lord grieves over the rich, because they find their consolation in the abundance of goods. "Let the proud seek and love earthly kingdoms, but blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven." Abandonment to the providence of the Father in heaven frees us from anxiety about tomorrow. Trust in God is a preparation for the blessedness of the poor. They shall see God.
...lots of waiting. For what?
We ought to be persuaded that what God refuses to our prayer, He grants to our salvation.
Thus says the LORD:
Say to those whose hearts are frightened:
Be strong, fear not! Here is your God, he comes with vindication; with divine recompense he comes to save you. Then will the eyes of the blind be opened, the ears of the deaf be cleared; then will the lame leap like a stag, then the tongue of the mute will sing. Streams will burst forth in the desert, and rivers in the steppe. The burning sands will become pools, and the thirsty ground, springs of water.
(Is 35:4-7a)
Life is beautiful.
Tonight: 1st sorrowful mystery - I'm praying, girls are squirmy. 2nd sorrowful mystery - I'm praying, Lea is rolling around, Therese is squirmier. 3rd sorrowful mystery - I stop in-between to try another hold with Therese, Lea wants me to hold her, too..then starts singing and dancing the "Disco Roll". 4th sorrowful mystery - I'm praying, Lea lies down next to me and strokes my arm singing the "Goodbye" song...halfway through 4th sorrowful mystery, Lea starts praying the Hail Mary's with me for the first time!! 5 in a row - whoohoo!! Then Lea looks tired and I tell her she can go to sleep. 5th sorrowful mystery - I'm praying, both girls are asleep. Praise God! It works (almost) every time. =)
I just got done chatting with one of my former students from St. Paul of the Cross. She found me on Yahoo! and we got to talking...I haven't seen her in 5 years, and she's starting her first year in college! It was a really nice dialogue...very God-centered...and I was so happy to know that she was doing so well.
Prayer. Communion with God. Going to Him for everything...consolation, advice, direction. Sometimes it's hard to remember that we don't have to work too hard to "figure things out"...that it's God who is in control of all the things we're trying to figure out.
"The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." That is incredibly encouraging...from the
Exodus story but very relevant to our own lives. We have no power in and of ourselves, so we must trust Him to work miracles and move mountains just like He said He would.
Yesterday's first reading from the book of Jeremiah talks about "the remnant" that the Lord will gather to Himself. I felt my heart smile as I thought of all the friends I had made over the years who had been part of my journey...scattered but being called back so that "none shall be missing." It was so nice to see familiar souls last week as we came together to pray for baby Bella, Mark, and Micah. Tonight we are heading to Holy Family to help the youth group prepare for their rally...later next month it will be LSS...in September we'll be back at SCRC to actually attend talks again (I'm SOOO excited!).
I've also since been in touch with others along the way...sharing and reconnecting...because we need each other...a phone call, an email, a text just to pray and to let each other know that the Mystical Body of Christ is still very much alive.
Praise the Lord!
+AMDG+
Leilani is spending a couple of days with us, and Meleana is having SO much fun with her! She arrived yesterday afternoon with Lyn-lyn, Mommy, and JJ and we had lunch here from Versailles (mmmm...). Before falling too deep into a food coma, we all went to the Bridge and played glow-in-the-dark mini golf at Putting Edge. Leilani hit a beautiful hole-in-one, and so did Gary...but I missed his because I was feeding Therese. They gave Meleana and JJ little putters and golf balls so they could participate, too, and JJ was doing so well with trying to hit the ball into the holes. =) It was so cute watching them playing with each other! I was excited over how everybody's clothes glowed. Leilani asked me what glowed on me, and I told her that only my toes glowed...haha! But the putters and golf balls glowed, and we even got little glow bracelets. Very cool! We had some time to walk around, so we swung by Game Stop for Leilani and Gary, then ended with shakes and smoothies from Ben & Jerry's (mmmm again!).
Back at the apartment, Leilani and Lea spent some time drawing/coloring, blowing bubbles, and playing in the watermelon box-turned-clubhouse that Gary made for Lea a few months ago. Leilani thought that we could decorate the inside, so I printed out pictures of Jesus and Mary, curtains, clouds, and a sun (totally her idea). She cut them all out and we taped them to the inside...complete with a "Home Sweet Home" sign to also put up.
As soon as Gary was finished making dinner, they all sat and ate while I took care of the baby. I eventually fell asleep and stayed asleep (which is why I'm up right now) and they played in the house some more, roasted marshmallows, played again, practiced Lea's ABCs on Starfall, and gave her a bath.
My niece is so sweet. Before Lyn-lyn left, she said Leilani was our third daughter. I said she was my daughter even before I had the two girls. I know Emeline feels the same way. We all helped raise her, and Lyn-lyn was so generous to share her with our whole family. I used to take her out whenever I wanted and we'd hang out - usually at Downtown Disney during the summertime and go to daily Mass during the week nights after I'd pick her up from preschool.
I'm so glad she loves our children, and that Meleana gets along so well with all her cousins. The day after seeing them, she's saying over and over, "Ati, Jacob, JJ! Ati, Jacob, JJ!" They're all challenged to learn to share with each other when they play, but that's just a part of growing up. Most of the time, though, they LOVE to laugh together and have Yo Gabba dance parties in Em and Rob's family room. I have such a great time watching them enjoy the time they have as little kids...and Gary has a blast playing with all of them. It definitely keeps us young. =)
Praise God for family!!!
Life is so precious. For as long as we are here, we need to see it for the gift that it is. We just left All Souls Cemetary for Baby Bella's viewing. When Em told me that she died, I wanted to cry. My heart hurt so painfully for Micah and Mark because I couldn't imagine going through such a loss...thinking that everything was fine for most of the pregnancy and then realizing that you would soon have to say goodbye and let her go. It was hard for Gary and I to lose our first baby too, but we didn't have to plan a funeral for him.
Oh, Lord, we are so grateful for the strength you have given them through their faith and the prayers of their family and friends. Thank you for putting it in my heart to give them the picture of You holding the baby in Heaven. It brought so much comfort to us when we lost little Gary and it just seemed like the right thing to do to pass it on to them. And to be there with the family praying the rosary...to ask for healing as we laid hands on them...because we didn't have the words. No one ever knows what to say but You somehow always show us what we need to do.
Please continue to hold Micah and Mark in the shelter of Your loving embrace, and grant them the consolation in knowing that their little girl is with You loving them with Heaven's love. Amen.
When I was single, I was very selfish with my time. It may not have seemed like it because I was always involved in ministry or some kind of service, and I spent so much time at work. But ultimately, I did what I wanted when I wanted...and when I felt like I needed to get away, I took a long drive...when I wanted to spend time with Jesus, I hopped in my car to go to adoration during late night hours at churches all over SoCal.
"Every revolution, big or small, requires a change of mentality, and even before that, a change of heart, in order to overcome any resistance there might be to the new situation." (p.169 - A Life with Karol)
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In true appreciation of the journey...
From Altar Server to Bishop (By Bishop Frederick Henry)
I shared a lot of stories with my students last week...about a lot of things...marriage, parenting, life. As I reflect on my own journey and see where God has brought me today, I'm able to appreciate the different ways He has called all of us to use our gifts and live our lives.
And as I spent this past weekend with my family in Las Vegas, I looked around me and noticed a whole lot of goodness in each and every one of them. Again realizing that there really isn't "just one way" to be...that we were all called in our own special ways to follow God's will.
One of my nephews graduated from Serra Vista High School this past week, which is why we were all up there. He's planning on going to a JC for now and his brother is going to be a junior at UNLV. They're both AMAZING young men...very respectful, intelligent, talented, so good with the little kids. I had to complement my cousin and her husband for doing such a wonderful job in raising them. Their lola (my ninang) also plays a huge role in their lives, supporting their education and praying with them every night.
What was so nice was that my cousin-in-law Robert noticed I was teaching Meleana her ABCs, and he smiled. He asked me if I was going to homeschool the kids and I told him that we were planning on it, if Gary and I are able to make the switch down the road. He told us that he saw the graduation for homeschoolers in LV on the news and there were 600 kids in attendance. I was surprised because I didn't expect the numbers to be so high...but it was great to hear that there was a solid community of people who decided to go the "unconventional" route and that the city was taking the time to acknowledge them publicly on TV.
We also went to church out there on Saturday evening at this BEAUTIFUL parish called "St. Joseph, Husband of Mary" (wonderful name, isn't it?). Everything about it was unique - even the artwork and architecture - Byzantine style icons and relief paintings of the saints. The priest was really good, too. He did a great job of reminding us all of who Jesus is to us in the Eucharist...that we unite ourselves more and more to Christ in His Mystical Body whenever we receive Communion. And he also said that we should never be afraid to go out and bring His message to others...to serve them in love.
Gary even said that he felt something "different" there...that it was a truly holy place...that the congregation was sincere in their faith...that it was just special. I think it hit him the most through a young disabled teenage boy who was seated near him, singing with his whole heart and soul, truly participating in every part of the Mass.
Yes, I met Jesus in each moment of this weekend...
God calls us to be faithful to Him. Not everyone is going to agree with the path we take or how we go about living our lives, but it doesn't really matter what the popular opinion is. What matters is that we live in His will because we know HE LOVES US. There isn't anything He asks us to do that will ultimately bring us harm. God ALWAYS brings us to a better place, even if we sometimes have to make temporary sacrifices.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
Once upon a time, I asked Jesus to help me love like Him. I asked Him if He could take my broken heart and replace it with His.
This week I was given the opportunity to truly love so many people in my life.
My husband.
My children.
My students.
Each of them was asking me to love them in so many different ways. All 111 of them. That's a lot of people.
I needed to forgive, to accept, to sacrifice, to hug, to listen, to advise, to even reach back into the darkness of my own past and draw out lessons that would teach them who they really are.
And today happened to be another one of those days that cost me. Like I told Mirella, I love these students of mine so much...I pour out my whole heart and soul into everything I do for them...and when they aren't willing to receive, it hurts. I get frustrated, and sometimes I wonder why I try so hard.
But I can't give them any less than this. Every day I choose to come straight home to my family and spend as much time with them as I can. Every morning I leave my family to serve my students and take care of educating them, forming them in the faith, praying with them, and sitting down to talk when they really need me.
Yes, I'm exhausted.
Yet St. Ignatius tells us not to count the cost.
At the end of the day, I am grateful. I'm grateful that God gave me enough grace to get through and love despite the difficulties. I'm grateful that I can still give even when I'm hurting inside or struggling with uncertainties about my own health. I'm grateful that I can still listen when I myself need to talk, and that I can remember the importance of "taking one day at a time."
I really need it to be June 16th, but I don't want these next few weeks to fly by without appreciating the reasons my students give me to stay at SJS.
What did Jesus do when He was this tired?
He went off by Himself to pray.
Maybe He wasn't married with two kids, but He sure did have A WHOLE LOT more "students" than I do. And they followed Him everywhere He went.
I can't imagine.
So I guess it's not so bad. It just means that I need to take a little more time by myself (or with a sleeping baby in my lap) to pray and REALLY talk with God. I've been too busy asking Him for stuff - mostly for other people - that we haven't been doing much conversing.
To the desert, dear Spirit. Please send me to the desert to pray.
At the end of my day, I find myself replaying every mistake and every blessing...asking myself how I could have done better and being grateful to God for His sustenance and grace. Sometimes I'm weighed down by incredible guilt over little things, and I suppose that can be good if it drives me to change. But I do have to literally cry out the name of Jesus so the bad feelings don't overwhelm me since I'm really good at being hard on myself.
I think in my own mind that even if I was awarded Teacher of the Year, I can do so much better than I have been. It's been so tough lately because in my heart I want so bad to be home with the girls, but after work I still have to grade papers, put together lessons, and make powerpoints. And yet when I'm at SJS I really enjoy helping my students learn about their faith. It was so much easier to be a teacher when I was single because I could devote more time to the school...but if I wasn't working, then I can be more present to my own daughters and care for them the way I think I should.
As God's will has determined, I signed my contract for another year at SJS. I was okay with it since I left it in his hands, and I was happy that I can continue working with my 7th graders as they move on to their 8th grade year. There is so much I want to do with them...so much they haven't yet been exposed to. They like to learn and they remind me every day why I came back to be a full-time teacher three years ago.
Maybe God's allowing me to stay at SJS so Gary is able to build a solid relationship with our kids. When he goes back to work, it will more than likely involve some traveling again and he may not be able to spend as much time with them. So if I look at it that way, I am willing to make the sacrifice right now. At least I have long vacations so I still get my chance to be home for part of the year, which is wonderful. And perhaps through all of this I will be able to better understand how Mommy felt when she was the main breadwinner for our family when Daddy couldn't work.
There is a purpose...actually more than one...and I'm sure God will reveal more to me later on. But like I told my two girls who didn't win the Student Council election, God has a plan and we may just have to wait and see what He has in store.
I'm teaching the Family Life Unit for the 8th graders this week and next...and I'm not using a book because Scripture, CCC, JPII, Jason Evert, Pam Stenzel were better resources than any widely used "Family Life" books that were out there. Thank God EWTN decided to do a review...praise the Lord for Mother Angelica and her people.
The 8th graders wrote down questions for me the other day. After I was done reading and sorting them out, I looked down at Therese in my lap and said, "Wow, baby, these kids asked some really tough questions." Then she smiled at me with her sweet, comforting, chubby-cheeked grin, and it was as if God was trying to tell me that it was going to be okay.
And at that very moment I was SO glad that she wasn't going to be 13 years old any time soon...
Please pray for us! =)
+AMDG+
I showed this video to my 7th graders today.
Like Karina said, you don't really see it as actors in a movie...it's as if you're watching the real thing...all the events unfolding before your eyes...the love of Jesus Christ poured out for every single one of us.
For the May Crowning Mass, I'm supposed to do a short reflection on what Mary means to me as a mother. So many thoughts come to mind... And I chuckle to myself because when I was pregnant, I really had no reason to complain because I never had to sit on the back of a donkey for 80+ miles to travel anywhere.
Mama Mary is AMAZING.
I will pray on this tonight...
Time has healed me, as over the years I have been wrapped in the arms of Jesus. I keep bringing my pain to confession because I've had to dig out the roots of my own shortcomings. It feels wonderful to be able to revisit old memories and not hurt anymore...
And looking back, now I understand.
