Thursday, September 29, 2005

Everybody is special

Each person is deeply loved by God. Even if we have a hard time liking them or accepting them as a part of our lives, we need to love what God loves. Therefore, we need to love everyone He does. He wants the best for them, and so should we.

Recognizing the presence of the Lord in all people would really reduce the amount of sin in the world and in our own individual lives. It's difficult to harbor unforgiveness, resentment, anger, lustful thoughts, jealousy, impatience, irritation, etc. when you ask to see Him there. If they have pushed Him out of their hearts, we cannot then just shake our heads with pity. We need to pray that God will reclaim them for Himself and do what we can to show them mercy and compassion.

As much as I "work with God" this is easy for me to forget sometimes, too. I have always wanted to love God more, and it's a piece of cake when I'm sitting in front of the Eucharist in adoration. But the real challenge is finding Him in those who surround us everyday...those we would rather not see or talk to...those who may make life tense or stressful for us.

This also would help my prayer and day-to-day minstry with people, whether they be family, coworkers, friends, students, fiance...and the list goes on. If I am aware of how present God is to all of us, I won't worry so much about those I cannot help because I will pray for them and trust that He will send another messenger to encourage them along the way. I also will not hesitate to help if the need is great and He makes it clear to me that something must be done.

The Spirit flows where the Spirit wills. Love surrounds us more than we know, and so to say each day, "Hello, Lord, I know You are here in our midst...You always have been and You always will be," is to give Him everything that belongs to Him - our time, our talents, our treasures, our hearts - and let Him direct us in their use. He's right here working with us, praying with us, cooking with us, cleaning with us, sharing in our joys and sorrows...accepting us in this moment just as we are but constantly laboring in our circumstances to bring us closer to heaven.

So I offer to you, dear God, my interactions with the people I love...with the people you send into my life...with the people who are there to help me grow in virtue. I pray that I will see You in them...that You will open up my heart wide enough to let Your love flow into it and through it so that they may experience You through my words, my actions, and my prayers...that You will open my ears in order to listen to Your voice calling out to me, teaching me Your ways in the lessons I learn in our conversations or maybe even in our silent exchanges.

All for You, Lord. Basta ikaw...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Shower meditation

Most "revelations" that I get come as I'm getting ready to start my day. It occurred to me at some point (was it after I was washing my hair? haha) that the entry I wrote in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep contained my "non-negotiables". So my thoughts continued, yes, after I woke up and God gave me the following:

If the characteristics of my "ideal mate" were not present and I ended up with the complete opposite, this is the kind of person he'd be. Imagine this...

  • does not see a need for prayer
  • refuses to believe in anything supernatural
  • impatient
  • judgmental
  • unkind
  • coarse
  • lazy
  • disrespectful
  • does not value the Mass
  • thinks praying the Rosary is a waste of time
  • watches and listens to anything under the sun, no matter how many obscenties are seen or heard
  • thinks kids are a nuisance
  • rude
  • prideful
  • does not practice what he claims to believe when he does choose to believe in something
  • chaotic
  • selfish
  • has no room for God in his life

Then I pictured being that way myself and felt sick to my stomach.

I can marry someone who can't cook but I can't marry someone who has no faith. I can commit to someone who doesn't listen to the same music as me but I can't allow junk to enter into the eyes and ears and thus the hearts of my children. He doesn't have to share all of my interests but he at least has to share my love for God.

I am really grateful, though, that Gary and I do have much in common - more than we thought at first - (and also that he can cook!) but I'm more grateful that he has what I can't let go of.

This is simply a follow-up to a conversation I had with a couple of friends this past weekend when one of them asked about the necessity of common interests between boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife. Sure, I really enjoy Broadway shows and overseas trips but there are more important values that really hold a relationship together and build the foundation for a good family.

We also spend so much time looking for that "special someone"...that "perfect soulmate"...that we neglect the work that needs to be done on ourselves to prepare for the moment when that person walks into our lives.

That's why I have to take a good look in the mirror, not just every once in a while but everyday...open to pulling out the logs in my own eyes before I start pointing specks out to other people.

Those are my thoughts for the day. I'm off to see my best friend now. I really miss her. =)

TTFN! +BiL

Night owl

Funny...I try to go to sleep early and then I wake up at 2am and can't get back to sleep...so I picked up my journal and wrote...still not able to fall asleep...so I'm blogging...

I was flipping through the pages of my book and found this list I made back in July. From the conversation I had with Gary a couple of nights ago when I was listing my "criteria" I realized that those were my preferences and there were things on that particular list that I could live without.

This one, however, describes the kind of person that would help get me and my kids (and a whole lot of other people) to Heaven...

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:

  • consistent prayer life
  • faith
  • patience
  • understanding
  • kind
  • compassionate
  • hard-working
  • respectful
  • goes to Mass - also daily, if possible
  • loves to pray the Rosary
  • knows how to filter media
  • good with kids
  • polite
  • responsible
  • disciplined and self-controlled
  • simple
  • humble
  • good teacher
  • peaceful
  • calming
  • helpful
  • in love with God

And I asked myself if I was all of these things since they often say not to set expectations that you yourself cannot meet.

Hmm...Jesus and I are working on it. I definitely still have some growing to do, and I think I always will. We can always do better, and I'm fighting the temptation to be extremely hard on myself. Today, however, I can say that I'd like to learn to not only do better but actually be better. I do pray for that, for the sake of everyone in my life and most especially for God.

"Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong. Let love be in all." (1Cor 16:13-14)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

All the Way to Heaven

by V*enna

I never thought that I would
Give my life to You
But know I need Your love in
Everything I do

And when my life is over
We can be together

Take me all the way to heaven
I will follow you forever
When all is said and done
You will be the only One
No more loneliness and sorrow
I have found a new tomorrow
And when my time has come
You and I will live as one

You're all I ever needed
I will follow You
And I will never leave you
Now I know the truth

Now I know I need your love
And I know Your love is real
Let me show You how I feel

Take me with You
Show me the way to heaven
I've found the truth
Now I will live forever...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Back to Jesus we go...

Whew, it's Tuesday...I don't think I've ever been this grateful on a Tuesday. I think I just had a difficult Monday.

Strange how I used to want time to go by really fast. Now that I have so much to do, I wish I could stretch my days out just so I could complete all my lessons, visit with my coworkers, catch up with my students, call old friends, and hang out with my family...not to mention getting to daily Mass, staying for adoration, writing in my journal after reading a good book, and talking to Gary, if we're not sitting around doing nothing.

I have a dear friend who had rededicated herself to Jesus this past weekend. Praise God. =) She just inspired me to do the same.

As I was putting together a Powerpoint presentation on the Liturgical calendar, I learned that the color green used in Ordinary Time symbolizes hope and growth. Green is the color of life and abundance. We go through life measuring it by monumental events, but usually in the in-between "ordinary time" we don't think anything worth much is happening.

So like my friend and I discovered in our conversation today, it's important to recognize that something is happening while we don't notice...when we're waiting for something to knock us off our feet.

We're growing.

Like my rose analogy.

Soil, water, sunlight, and regular pruning.

Humility, sacramental graces, Eucharist, and frequent confession.

Most of the time, we feel nothing. Often we only see the thorns, but the bud is blooming.

There was a red rose growing next to Mama Mary at work today.

I noticed it early in the day as a bud. I came back in the afternoon and it had opened up.

How beautiful!

That made me smile. Ah, yes, encountering God in all things... =)

******************************


Fr. Larry said yesterday at Mass that we are happy only to the extent that we fulfill the will of God in our lives.

I heard that after talking to Melanie and Ofelia in the SPC Religious Ed office. Melanie saw my ring and I shared with her more of "our story". Ofelia then said to me that Fr. Larry once told her about the 4 different types of Christians...
  1. The Christian that refuses to carry their cross.
  2. The Christian that carries their cross and either brags about it or complains.
  3. The Christian that carries their cross and also looks for others to help as well.
  4. The Christian that is willing to be nailed to their cross.

From that conversation and my reflection during Mass, I came to the conclusion that I am marrying Christian #4.

Being the kind of Christian that often cannot bear the weight of my own cross, I have a lot to learn.

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead." (Phil. 3:10-11)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Metamorphosis

At last...a "do nothing" day. I LOVE IT!

Thanks so much, Em, for going to breakfast with me...it was quite yuuuummmy. =) I had a great time hanging out and catching up! We must do this more often and hit more items on that menu...haha

It's been hard staying in touch with everyone lately, but I realized that I shouldn't let too much time pass...especially with family and close friends.

Going back to Days was a blessing. Familiar faces. The disco. I remembered. Thank you, Kuya Jess.

Good times with the Monks...growing up but still staying young. I love my friends. They're the best...that's why we've lasted this long. Eight years. Wow. Funny how Jenn and Chel both got married in the same year...Summer and I are engaged...Shell and Elle are single. Traveling in pairs. We've got a trip planned in October. Yaaay, just like the old days...I'm excited!!!

Alas, I have been spending most of my time at Verb. Work has kept me very busy during this month of August, but at the same time it's where I've had some of my most life-deepening conversations.

I love it that I'm becoming better friends with my coworkers. The family atmosphere that we longed for is growing. What a wonderful feeling it is to be there on that campus.

I love it that we now have Mass every Friday morning before the school day starts. I've always admired Gary for getting to Mass so early in the morning, thinking I'd never be able to get up early enough, but yes, Jesus, you're so worth it.

I love it that God has carried me through one of the most stressful times of the year and preserved the joy in my heart so I can still smile in the end. Faculty/Staff Orientation, Faculty/Staff Retreat, New Families Mass, Student Orientation w/marathon sessions, Fall Sports Retreat, Mass of the Holy Spirit, and Freshman Religion prep. I was tired, but that's why He's giving me this weekend...just to recoup and remember why I do what I do.

It's good to see our boys again.

So much gratitude...that's what it always comes back to.

Thank you, Lord, for my family, for my coworkers, for my students, and for my friends. Thank you for taking care of us...no matter how You allow us to struggle, You've never left us alone. Thank you for my beautiful fiance who manages to make every moment spent with him a cherished one...for filling his heart with an incredible amount of love...for teaching me through him what humility looks like and what faith should really be.

Changing but somehow staying the same person I've always been.

It doesn't matter so much what people think of me. It's not that I don't care. I just put God's opinion above everyone else's. And the fact of the matter is that God loves me. God loves everyone...He really does. So to think that my life - or the life of another person - does not have value is to undermine the very purpose for which we were made. It's true that sometimes we stray...sometimes we're not as close to Him as we were at other times in our lives, but the reality is that He never leaves us.

What's most important is that we keep coming back...that we keep getting up...that we answer the door when He knocks...that we never forget what His voice sounds like.

Yesterday I decided to stop by St. Irenaeus before going home...didn't know they were having Adoration but was pleasantly surprised to see Jesus on the altar...so I stayed. I tried to pray but I didn't have much to say...just wanted to sit there and look at Him...and I realized that my experience of God has become pretty ordinary...not so many "mystical experiences" anymore...thinking to myself, "So this is what it's like for most people," which isn't so bad.

I glanced at the others in the church also praying, knowing that they had loved ones that they were probably lifting up, situations maybe that they couldn't deal with alone.

Then I looked at my ring, and made it part of my own prayer...asking God to take care of our relationship...thanking Him for sending me someone so patient and understanding. Ever since the night that Gary proposed, it has always felt so natural to wear. It was more than what I would have ever expected, and because he chose it and gave it to me as a symbol of his love - of our past, present, and future - it is now a part of me, as much as my medals are...as much as anything else I've ever worn that has meant something to my life's purpose.

As I was telling Em today, I've always had people around me...people to serve, people to teach, people to love. I'll go from one circle to the next and never get tired of watching them grow, as they also help keep my spirit alive and enthusiastic with the evolution of their lives as well. Kappa Psi Epsilon...Servant's Heart...the Monks...Heart of Worship...Verbum Dei...the SPOC family...Liwanag...Days with the Lord...all amazing parts of the Body of Christ.

Yet now I am being called to give of myself in a different way to this man whose presence has added a dimension to my faith that I could not aquire on my own. It was difficult at first because I was afraid of "losing myself" in the relationship, but I found that together we became even more than who we were apart. Gary cares for me in a way that helps me serve, teach, and love better when God does ask me to return to those circles.

This is why I said "Yes".

He helps me deal with the common human experience...to preach the Gospel every day with joy in the midst of trial...to say the words "It's gonna be okay" and truly believe it.

So I get to see him again today. Even if it's always hard to say goodbye whether he's traveling or just going home, it's nice to know that we're getting a little bit closer to "One day..."

+BiL

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Blessed are the pure in heart...

...for they shall see God.

Preparing for marriage, not just since the engagement but long before I ever met Gary, has taught me much about what this Beatitude really means.

Few people truly understand the meaning of it and even fewer truly live it out in their own lives.

I was not going to let another person into my life and into my heart unless I knew that he valued the dignity that God gave me as a woman. Not only would he respect my purity but he would protect the purity called forth from other women as well.

It's true - I do see the world through different eyes.

And what do I see?

Those times when I am open to His grace, I see what makes God smile...and I also see what makes Him cry.

I have gone through too much to let that part of me go.

As much as I am laughed at when it comes to what I don't watch and what I don't do, there are those friends who know my values - the values of Christ - and find hope and inspiration to also strive for purity of heart.

It's the key to Heaven. I have to remember that.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

No greater reward

As we begin a new school year, I'd just like to offer some words of encouragement to all the teachers out there...

There's nothing better than being a part of a young person's life in such a special way. The influence you have with them is immeasurable. Some of it has to do with what you teach, but most of the impact comes from how you teach it and what love they feel from you as you share your heart with them each day...letting them know that their presence is valued and that their life means something.

Amidst all the lesson plans and faculty meetings, there is a powerful grace flowing within each teacher...a grace even more life-changing than winning the lottery.

It is one of the most challenging and demanding professions there is, but no amount of money can outpay the rewards we receive from the students who are grateful for all that we have taught and given them.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

He's my...fiance!

I think I'm starting to get used to it now...hehe =)

Yes, Gary proposed to me last Monday VERY spontaneously...neither of us was expecting it but it had to happen...God's timing, not ours...

And because God was the one who set this all up in the first place, we need to let Him take the lead. We've found that as long as we keep Him in the center of this relationship, He'll be there to guide us and provide the grace for everything we need.

This has been a lot of fun, to say the least. From the moment Gary emailed me to the first time we met...how it all came together on New Year's Eve '04 to all the special moments that we've also been able to share with the people we love...it's the greatest privilege to live out this miracle.

It really is a miracle.

When people ask how we met, I smile to myself because it's just a snippet of such a beautiful story. Even to talk about the proposal gives only a glimpse into the wonderful experience this all has been. No one will never really know the whole story because there's so much to it, but just by looking at how happy we both are, our family and friends know that this is something good.

I have my faults and weaknesses...so does he...we all do...but I'm learning that in relationships we need to admit that we're not perfect and really work to make it work. It's not hard...just humbling. There are times when I've had to get over myself and my own expectations and ask God to show me how to love Gary the way that he needs to be loved. That's the least I can do after everything he has poured out of his heart just for me...to help me experience God's love as well.

We're so blessed to understand what's important for us and our future together...though we've already figured out that it won't look like the kind of life that most people live.

It all starts with the Cross. Once we were able to accept the crosses in our lives with complete confidence that God would help us with them, an overflowing amount of grace was showered upon us to move forward with this relationship. He was ready far earlier than I was because he had that much faith, but I eventually caught up and progressed through my own healing process.

It's like you said to me yesterday, Angie. My healing is almost complete. And I love him. I really do love him.

Thank you, everybody, for being so excited for us...most especially for your prayers.

What looks scary really isn't so bad once you have the courage to take a chance. A very friendly German Shepherd named Bingo proved that to me during my talk this past weekend...a lesson I'll never forget.

+BiL

Sunday, August 07, 2005

The segment returns

I MET JESUS TODAY...

If I don't blog about anything else, I can at least come back to this. So...

I met Jesus today through Fr. Ed at St. Pius who reminded us that God's voice will speak to us if we just listen carefully. His grace and mercy are always being poured out onto the world, like on the day of his ordination as a deacon and God gave him a beautiful day after a storm. You know, that was probably one of the days that Gary and I were blessed with as well, so like he said, that shining sun wasn't just for him. =)

I also met Jesus today through Jason who thought of "I Met Jesus Today" during Mass and inspired me to include it on my blog again.

Jesus was also present to me through my Kappa sisters who I saw at our All-Chapter Summer Summit - especially Amber, Christine, April, and Selle. It was so wonderful to see them and catch up for a while...to reminisce and appreciate the journey together. I cried for the first time while giving a speech during the Delta Chapter induction. That's how proud of them I was.

And Jesus fed me when I was hungry today through Lyn-Lyn and Mike. It was nice sitting with them for a little while. I like those two a lot...as I should...

Oh, I can't forget about yesterday with Mike and Gary helping Lyn-Lyn and I clean out the garage. Yeah, that definitely takes the love of Jesus...hehe. Thanks, guys. You're the greatest.

So my life is evolving at the moment and I'm sooooo happy. =) I'm glad I'm doing this because it gives me the opportunity to be mindful and appreciative of the little things. Have you ever felt like you were living out a movie or a TV mini-series? That's me every day. What's gonna happen next? God likes to keep me at the edge of my seat, in a good way of course. When I close the night with Him and Gary, I can almost hear the words, "Stay tuned for the next episode..."

As long as we're making other people smile, we'll know that this is something He definitely wants.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

A wholehearted Yes

...not afraid to lose but more than willing to give.

You can't let the hurts of the past and the imagined fears of the future rob you of the joys of today. It's easy to lock yourself in your own prison and shut everyone else out to keep yourself "safe".

But like I heard someone say in the waiting room of the doctor's office:

"That's not living."

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Dialogue and ecumenism

I met a Muslim today and we had a great conversation. He had shuttled me back to airport parking when I flew in from St. Louis and was just asking about my flight, etc. I told him that I spent the whole 3 1/2 hours reading a book about the Jesuit order of priests. He was inquiring about our beliefs as Catholics and I began to tell him about Jesus as our Savior. Then He began to share what he believed about Jesus and told me a very interesting story about Jesus and Mary.

I thought it was beautiful that he held Jesus and Mary in such high regard from the perspective that he had in the context of his religion. I wish you could have seen the depth of respect in his eyes and heard it in his voice. No antagonism whatsoever. He knew his faith and he loved it. He asked about my faith and he respected it.

Granted that there are some similarities in beliefs, the fundamental differences are quite drastic. I still enjoyed the dialogue, however - as did he - because I was just allowing him to share so that I could understand. It was not my opportunity to try to preach the truth to him, but our opportunity to meet on a bridge between Christian and Muslim.

So I tried to give him a tip but he refused. He said he was just grateful for the conversation. This particular encounter inspired me because this man spoke with more love from his heart for God to a stranger than I do to my dearest friends.

Thank you, Lord God, for that "appointment". As brief as it was, I think we both left a little bit better off...

"Man's mercy is for his neighbor but the compassion of the Lord reaches all people." (Sirach 18:13a)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Dear Daddy

"There You'll Be"
by Faith Hill

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

Ten years ago today you fell asleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus. Thank you for living a life worth following - a life of hope and faith...of perseverance and love. You'll always be my hero.

love,
b.anne

Thursday, July 21, 2005

By the way, Lord...

I wanted to thank You for welcoming me to St. Anastasia yesterday, as well. No one else was there for most of the time except for me and You, but I really appreciate the "at-home-ness" that I always feel whenever I walk into a church and sit in front of the tabernacle.

If only everywhere we went gave us that much peace...

I've run into many a wall lately when visiting with friends and family. I think I probably have mine up, too. Hesistancy is easy to spot when you know it so well within yourself. Whatever the reason (for I am as clueless as the next person), I just want everything to be okay.

We know not how to pray, and so we turn our spirits over to His Spirit who prays within us for what we cannot comprehend.

Inspired by Jaymee's Healing talk, I pray:

Dear Lord,

Please heal in us whatever is broken and wounded. Heal our relationships with each other, with ourselves, with You. Send your refining fire and consume us with the power and grace poured forth from Heaven...from Your Sacred Heart through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Life was never meant to be this painful, so I know You desire to lift us into Your arms and enfold us with Your comfort to make us one again in You.

Amen.

AMDG+JMJ

It's hot

Dear God,

Can you please turn up the AC a little?

Love,
me

******************************


I'm taking a brief paper-grading break. Tomorrow is our last day of the Freshman Summer Progam. I must say that I had a great time teaching these kids. They're really nice boys. We even have one going into the 11th grade who brings his harmonica, banjo, and guitar to school and just plays in the quad. His name's Ronnie and he was in my 4th period class. He's from Louisiana so he has that sweet Southern accent, not to mention a heart of gold.

I don't think I ever want to leave the classroom completely. It's the most fulfilling experience to teach...to get the kids to come up with their own questions and to seek answers by stretching their brains a little. There's nothing else like it. Definitely not a lonely job, I'll tell you that much. And when you can be there for them in their successes and challenges, praying with them and supporting them, you feel like you've just been given the greatest gift of all - a love that goes beyond just knowledge but rather binds you together through relationship.

This is the real world...what life is all about. We're establishing our careers and trying to put to practical use all the lessons we learned in college. Yesterday we took some of the guys on an LA Walking Tour to show them the buildings they'll be working at. I looked up at the US Bank building and said to one of the students, "My cousin works up there." My youngest sister and my best friend are both married...Leilani will be 5 next month...decisions are being made and futures are being built. I'm looking into the next few years of my own life wondering where God's going to take me next.

Pretty exciting.

I'm here because of not only the choices I have made in life but also because God had a lot to do with bringing me to this point. I worked for my degree and accumulated experience, but He gave me my job and every opportunity that led up to it. I held my standards high, but He brought my boyfriend to me and gave me the grace to say yes to this relationship. I tried to learn as much as I could about my faith, but He was the one who kept me faithful to Him.

So whatever is coming up for later on, God has it all in His hands. I'm happy where I am, but He's not going to keep me here. Someday I may move on to another job...Gary and I may take that next step...and eventually when it's all over, He'll carry me into Heaven.

Always changing...always moving...but with always the same Love surrounding me and filling my heart with joy.

In the long run, however, this isn't all just for me. He takes me where He wants me to go because there are others who He'd like me to bring along the journey as well. Just gotta keep walking and they'll happen to be going in the same direction looking for some companionship.

Yes, it is pretty exciting.

"Let each of us bring joy to our neighbors helping them for the good purpose, for building up. May God, the source of all perseverance and comfort give to all of you who live in peace Christ Jesus, that you may be able to praise in one voice God, Father of Christ Jesus, our Lord." (Romans 15:2, 5-6)

Monday, July 18, 2005

Children of the Light

Mass. Confession. Can't do without it. Why was I even trying to give Him less than what I know I can offer Him?

It was great to be back at SPC. Sorting through...questioning...sometimes even doubting my own relationship with Him...but it's all part of the process. The faith journey is never a perfectly paved road. I was never going to leave Him. I just needed to know how He wants me to live out everything I've learned. Not just the laws but the love as well.

I need to stay grounded because the pull of the world is strong. Yet it's the people in the world that I have been given to grow with and learn from. No, it isn't always me ministering to them. I need them just as much. Who am I to believe that I have all the answers in life?

We are a pilgrim people and and we're all traveling together.

Though there are some that I just cannot reach from where I am. So I PRAY. I pray with all my might that God's hand always be upon them. That the worst my imagination can conjure up will never come to fruition. There are souls who are seeking God...souls who have completely walked away from Him...souls who are racked with more pain than I could ever handle in a lifetime. I pray because people prayed for me and continue to do so. That's what "church" is all about. When one part of the body is missing, the whole suffers. We cannot function as we were meant to be.

I can't give up because there were those blessed few who never gave up on me.

God forbid that I should throw my hands in the air and just say that there's absolutely nothing I can do. There is much work to be done and much good that is possible when you believe.

Dear Lord, I ask You...no, I BEG You for the virtue of faith. Please fill my heart with hope for the world, for my brothers and sisters, for my own ailing soul that desires only to please You. As each day passes, we draw closer to the end...to Your coming than where we were yesterday. Today is all we have because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Please, dear Jesus, may we experience Your abounding mercy before it's too late.

I have since lost that sense of urgency. I have not kept Heaven as closely in sight as I should have been. In seeking to be comfortable, I have become complacent. This world...it's not my home. Neither is it yours...

Where am I storing my treasures?

"You know what hour it is. This is the time to awake, for our salvation is now nearer than when we first believed; the night is almost over and the day is at hand. Let us discard, therefore, everything that belongs to darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. As we live in full light of day, let us behave with decency; no banquets with drunkenness, no prostitution or vices, no fighting or jealousy. Put on, rather, the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not be led by the will of the flesh nor follow its desires." (Rom 13:11-14)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Attitude adjustment

"The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives."
- Louise Hay

It's so interesting to see how people view life's circumstances so differently. The course of one's life can either take a positive turn or a negative one depending on how they choose to think. Which canvas does your life look like?











Tuesday, July 12, 2005

A Vision for Catholic Schools

In response to Jason's question: "Why would kids who are non-Catholic go to a Catholic school?"...

Taken from the LA Archdiocese website: (the BIG picture of what a Catholic school should be)

An Advantage for Life
Jesus Christ is the foundation for our community, the Catholic Schools in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. His call to teach is our inspiration; His image the model for our students. In partnership with parents, we prepare our students to become full and active members of the Catholic Church, to serve others, and to make a difference in the world. We commit our schools to provide a quality education so that a Catholic Education is an Advantage for Life.

  • BUILD A COMMUNITY OF FAITH - We exist to enrich the Catholic community, and invite everyone to become active disciples of Jesus Christ.
  • UNDERSTAND THEIR GIFTS - We encourage all students towards excellence, but most importantly to use their gifts and talents in service to others.
  • INTEGRATE THE TEACHINGS OF THE CHURCH - We provide a unique opportunity for students to experience the gospel of Jesus Christ, and to bring Catholic beliefs and values into their lives and the world.
  • PROMOTE PARISH LIFE - We actively work to enhance the lives of Catholic parish communities.
  • FOSTER RESPECT - We teach respect for self and others, qualities that develop into discipline and good behavior.
  • LEAD BY EXAMPLE - We are spiritually committed and professionally prepared so that we can lead by example, and also show our special concern for each student.
  • APPRECIATE PARENTS - We recognize parents as the primary educators of the students in our care; we encourage their active role in our schools and parishes, and we appreciate their support.
  • SHARE GOVERNANCE - We seek community participation from those who share our vision, mission and goals.
  • OFFER OUR SCHOOLS - While we exist first for the Catholic community, we open our schools to all children who can benefit and to the extent that resources allow.
  • EXPRESS CONCERN FOR OTHERS - We have a special concern for the poor and disenfranchised.
  • INVEST WITH CARE - We use our resources wisely to ensure quality, and to be affordable to parents and our Church.
  • SEEK FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION - We continue to challenge the Catholic community and others to provide the resources that allow us to continue our work.

©2004 The Roman Catholic Archbishop of Los Angeles.

******************************

So our non-Catholic families are seeking to provide the best private school opportunity to their kids that they can afford. Here in Watts, the high school dropout rate is about 70%. That means if we had a freshman class of 100, only 30 of them would graduate with a diploma. Many may end up either on the street or struggling through life, earning close to minimum wage for much of their lives. However, because we are who we are with the education, programs and services the school offers, almost all of our graduates are accepted into college and leave Verbum Dei with a corporate resume.

The population of our community is about half Black and half Latino. Some go to church on Sundays, very few attend Mass. But they're here because they need to be. For some of them, it's about survival. Our identity clearly comes from our service to the underserved, and so we accept those who are open to learning about the Catholic faith and are willing to participate in Catholic spiritual formation.

There are definite benefits to a Catholic education and I can understand why people of various faith backgrounds would be attracted to it. I have yet to encounter students who are belligerently opposed to our Catholic beliefs and practices, but honestly because of our very thorough screening process I don't think that will be much of a problem. Everyone is pretty respectful of each other's differences on campus and for me, it's my greatest joy when I have a non-Catholic student ask me to explain why Mass is so important...how one becomes a saint...what purgatory is...not because he's trying to argue but because he REALLY wants to know. What makes me even happier is seeing him think about it, nod to himself and say, "Oh, okay, that makes sense."

I think this is a challenge to us - as it is to all Catholic schools around the world - to preserve the riches found in our religious tradition not only in our parishes but in our schools as well. It is easy to find deficits in the Catholic school system, especially in Religious Education, where many of the graduates don't know what being Catholic really means. As a Catholic educator myself, I ask myself what kind of an education I would want to give my own children someday. Would I send them to a Catholic school? And if I choose to homeschool, would I walk away from the system altogether? Would I ever think about returning to it professionally when my kids are older?

I struggle with my own questions, coming from a very "conservative" parish and working in a somewhat "liberal" environment. I've met people from both extremes and have decided for myself that I want to be able to cross the bridge somehow...to help them remember that Jesus is the one who holds us all together, that there is such thing as an absolute Truth but that it needs to be shared in love. So I love the fact that I'm learning a lot about the different viewpoints in among Catholics. Do I agree with all of them? No...to do so would be impossible since many of them are conflicting. I still follow what is taught from the Vatican and will do so for the rest of my life. What I seek, however, is to try to understand others...to reach out to them as people...because I have learned that you can preach and defend as much as you want but if that heart isn't open to receiving the message, then you've just spit a lot of wasted words into the air.

I realize that this entry may not be completely addressing the question. Just had a lot on my mind lately, so you're getting some of that right now. But I'm glad you asked what you did, Jason, because it's helping me appreciate what's happening here and what kind of potential for dialogue and faith sharing we can have at our school.

Catholics are to be "leaven in the world". That's what my professor said yesterday. Immersed in the world but affecting it instead of being affected by it. Non-Catholic Christians are expected to be no different. If Catholic schools provide the environment that fosters that kind of growth where both groups are working side by side, then I think we're making strides in the breakdown of age-old prejudices that have separated us as brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is yet much to be said (and still learned) about this subject. You may have your own thoughts on it as well. Feel free to share, by all means...

******************************

PERSONAL NOTES...

Taken from the New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia (on EDUCATION)

The Catholic position may be outlined as follows:

  • Intellectual education must not be separated from moral and religious education. To impart knowledge or to develop mental efficiency without building up moral character is not only contrary to psychological law, which requires that all the faculties should be trained but is also fatal both to the individual and to society. No amount of intellectual attainment or culture can serve as a substitute for virtue; on the contrary, the more thorough intellectual education becomes, the greater is the need for sound moral training.
  • Religion should be an essential part of education; it should form not merely an adjunct to instruction in other subjects, but the centre about which these are grouped and the spirit by which they are permeated. the study of nature without any reference to God, or of human ideal with no mention of Jesus Christ, or of human legislation without Divine law is at best a one-sided education. The fact that religious truth finds no place in the curriculum is, of itself, and apart from any open negation of that truth, sufficient to warp the pupil's mind in such a way and to such an extent that he will feel little concern in his school-days or later for religion in any form; and this result is the more likely to ensue when the curriculum is made to include everything that is worth knowing except the one subject which is of chief importance.
  • Sound moral instruction is impossible apart from religious education. The child may be drilled in certain desirable habits, such as neatness, courtesy, and punctuality; he may be imbued with a spirit of honour, industry, and truthfulness -- and none of this should be neglected; but if these duties towards self and neighbour are sacred, the duty towards God is immeasurably, more sacred. When it is faithfully performed, it includes and raises to a higher plane the discharge of every other obligation. Training in religion, moreover, furnishes the best motives for conduct and the noblest ideals for imitation, while it sets before the mind an adequate sanction in the holiness and justice of God. Religious education, it should be noted, is more than instruction in the dogmas of faith or the precepts of the Divine law; it is essentially a practical training in the exercises of religion, such as prayer, attendance at Divine worship, and reception of the sacraments. By these means conscience is purified, the will to do right is strengthened, and the mind is fortified to resist those temptations which, especially in the period of adolescence, threaten the gravest danger to the moral life.
  • An education which unites the intellectual, moral and religious elements is the best safeguard for the home, since it places on a secure basis the various relations which the family implies. It also ensures the performance of social duties by inculcating a spirit of self-sacrifice, of obedience to law, and of Chrisitian love for the fellow-man. The most effectual preparation for the citizenship is that schooling in virtue which habituates a man to decide, to act, to oppose a movement or to further it, not with a view to personal gain nor simply in deference to public opinion, but in accordance with the standards of right that are fixed by the law of God. The welfare of the State, therefore demands that the child be trained in the practice of virtue and religion no less than in the pursuit of knowledge.
  • Far from lessening the need of moral and religious training, the advance in educational methods rather emphasizes that need. Many of the so-called improvements in teaching are of passsing importance, and some are at variance with the laws of the mind. Upon their relative worth the Church does not pronounce, nor does she commit herself to any particular method provided the essentials of Christian education are secured, the Church welcomes whatever the sciences may contribute toward rendering the work of the school more efficient.
  • Catholic parents are bound in conscience to provide for the education of their children, either at home or in schools of the right sort. As the bodily life of the child must be cared for, so, for still graver reasons, must the mental and moral faculties be developed. Parents, therefore, cannot take an attitude of indifference toward this essential duty nor transfer it wholly to others. They are responsible for those earliest impressions which the child receives passively, before he exercises any conscious selective imitation; and as the intellectual powers develop, the parents example is the lesson that sinks most deeply into the child's mind. They are also obliged to instruct the child according to his capacity, in the truths of religion and in the practice of religious duties, thus co-operating with the work of the Church and the school. The virtues, especially of obedience, self-control, and purity, can nowhere be inculcated so thoroughly as in the home; and without such moral education by the parents, the task of forming upright men and women and worthy citizens is difficult, and if not impossible.

Monday, July 11, 2005

"I promise to be true..."

Happy belated anniversary, Em & Rob... =) You have much to be grateful for and many more blessings awaiting you in the years to come. May God continue to guide you and care for you so that your love will be a witness to those who have lost hope...to those who no longer believe in a lifetime of commitment and fidelity. In celebration of your first year together, I drew a picture of you. Just kidding...haha...I just happened to find this and it reminded me of you...



Love you guys. Have fun at the Alamo!

A different kind of wealth

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."