I wasn't sure what to do for Gary's birthday. Faced with a few different options, I left it up to God and asked Him what would be best. Knowing my husband's fun-loving, "get-my-groove-on" personality, I thought the Freestyle L.A. concert w/Stevie B, Lisa Lisa, Expose, and Debbie Deb would be super-cool to take him to. For about five minutes, I even considered bringing him to an MMA fight! But I felt a nudge...a strong nudge...to keep it simple. We had lunch at Zov's Cafe & Bakery in Tustin (and bought YUMMY deserts to share with Em and Rob to thank them for babysitting Meleana!), hung out at the Moya's for a little while, picked up Lea, went to confession at St. Peter Chanel, then drove to Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral for the Archdiocesan Requiem Mass for the Unborn. It was PERFECT.
At the Mass, all of the music was about honoring the life of each child...of telling this generation about the new generation to be born...the readings brought comfort in knowing how much God loves each person He creates, no mater how long they live...and Cardinal Mahoney's homily spoke gently but firmly about the issues we need to be concerned about regarding abortion policy in this country. He assured us that the pro-life movement would continue to grow in strength despite the actions of any government or political leader because no one can thwart the plan of God. People can try, but God is the one in control. He is all-powerful, and if His people work and pray, His plan will come into fruition. Yes, there will be sacrifices. Yes, at times, it will look like we have lost. But there is always hope in knowing that our fight will see victory as we move in prayer and moral persuasion.
After Communion, a woman gave her testimony with two out of her three daughters about how both of them were born with cystic fibrosis. She was urged to have an abortion if the amniocentesis showed that the third one had the condition. She and her midwife did everything they could to save the life of her child, and she and her daughters standing together in front of the congregation 19 years later was a strong testimony to what choosing life really means. Both of the girls are attending universities and are contributing to the world as the good God intended. At the end of her mother's sharing, the youngest daughter invited us all to witness the presentation of 148 candles lit in honor of the 148 babies who were aborted in Los Angeles today. "At sunrise, they joined us in greeting a new day, and at sunset we had to continue on in this life without them..." The votive candles were brought up and placed around the altar, and 148 seconds of silence were offered in rememberance of them. I placed my hand on my tummy as the baby stirred inside of me, and all I could hear was, "Thank you, Mommy. Thank you, Mommy." I cried, and Gary reached for my hand and for Meleana's.
We needed to be there. This is why...
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(Gary's email regarding political choices debated among his friends - sent Summer 2008)Thanks for those questions to consider. I have thought about those situations before, and I have talked to Marianne about those situations, "What if our baby was born with a dysfunction or disfigured" and we found out early in pregnancy. Or "What if your life is at risk?" And the answer to when the mother's life is at risk is in the life of St. Gianna Beretta Molla.
St. Gianna was a doctor, a normal mother of 3, and married to a wonderful husband. On her fourth baby, she found out from her doctor that she had fibroma of the uterus. She had three options: 1) an abortion, which would saver her life and allow her to have more babies, 2) a hysterectomy, which would save her life but take away the unborn baby's life, or 3) remove the fibroma, in which the baby may survive with the risk of complications for her or the baby. Through her Faith and prayers and talks with her husband, they decided to have the baby. Gianna believed that the baby's life was more important than her own and told the doctors prior to delivery to save the baby's life. Her exact words were, “If you must decide between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him”. The baby was born April 21, 1962 and her name was Gianna Emanuela. 7 days later Gianna died inspite of treatments. In pain, her last words were, "I love you, Jesus. I love you, Jesus." Today Gianna Emanuela is a doctor, just like her mom. Gianna was beatified on Mother's day in 1994 and on May 16, 2004 she was canonized a saint by Pope John Paul II. She is the first canonized woman, physician, and professional. She is a saint for mothers and parents; a model of virtue, holiness, motherhood, professionalism, and devotion.
It's a beautiful story of a parent's sacrifice and faith for the love of a child's life no matter what the cost. St. Gianna's husband did become a single parent, did not remarry, and raised 4 kids of on his own. But they all grew up to be good people, especially Gianna Emanuela. And they all lived to see her canonized a saint.
To answer what if "more likely than not" be born with a brain that had missing parts thus making it's life very difficult and dysfunctional?"If a baby is born with part of his brain missing which leads to dysfunction?"
That's a tough one and confusing. Well, if a baby is born with an incomplete or a partly functioning brain, does that mean the brain or body will not function? No. The brain will function, but not that well. The extent of difficulty for the brain to function is different from case to case. But there is the option of therapy for brain-injured kids. Marianne bought a set of books authored by Glenn Doman, who pioneered the treatment of brain-injured children and babies born with dysfunction. He successfully helped these babies and kids become more functional than their previous state. These kids may not ever be 100% like you or me, but they are functional, as to walk, talk, or grip a glass. Glenn Doman founded the Institute of Human Achievement in 1955 in which he treats his patients and helps normal kids become more physically and mentally intelligent with the same therapy. If we were to reference to our Faith, in the Catechism of the Catholic Church pp. 2274
, "Since it must be treated from conception as a person, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, care for, and healed, as far as possible, like any other human being. Prenatal diagnosis is morally licit, "if it respects the life and integrity of the embryo and the human fetus and is directed toward its safeguarding or healing as an indivudual...It is gravely opposed to the moral law when this is done with the thought of possibly inducing an abortion, depending upon the results: a diagnosis must not be equivalent of a death sentence." And don't forget the fifth commandment,
"Though shall not kill."
St. Gianna sacrificed her life for the greater good of her baby's life. Jesus showed care for the tax collector, protected the prostitute, healed the sick, and died for the sins of mankind. What if my baby, Meleana, was born mentally retarded; mentally deficient - slow, lack of motor skills, lack of sensory skills; blind; deaf; paralyzed; no arms; no legs; or with more limbs? Would I love her any less? Would I, as a parent, not try to help and care for her until I can't anymore? Marianne is 31, but if she were to sacrifice her life so that Meleana can be born, wouldn't that be the greatest gift she can give to Meleana? What if Meleana was in an accident and became brain-injured, would I not want to care for her until she is totally brain-dead? Most importantly, wouldn't Meleana want to try to be as healthy as possible, no matter how difficult the path may be?
These are the views of the Catholic Church.
These next lines are my thoughts:
Sacrifice is one of the greatest actions or expressions of love. As a parent, I would want to not only express my love through hugs and kisses, but deeply through sacrifice, even if it means sacrificing my own life. I'm sure Marianne feels the same. If it's a monetary sacrifice to keep my baby healthy, we'll do it. If it's a physical sacrifice, we'll do it. Healthy or not, holding your baby in your arms is one of the greatest gifts God can give you. Even with our miscarriage the year before Meleana was born, Marianne and I were torn. But we know that since the day of his conception he was loved. And he was a great gift too, even if he was not born to live a long life. I say "He" because Marianne heard his voice say "It's ok, mommy. It's ok!" as the miscarriage happened. It was a little baby boy's voice. To this day, we call him, Little Gary. We believe that he sacrificed so that Meleana can be born.
If a parent is not willing to sacrifice for a baby, let alone for an unhealthy baby, I would want that parent to give the baby up for adoption so that a loving family (or just someone willing to care) can care for him. We may diagnose baby disorders, deficiencies, and dysfunction, but we do not know the outcome of a life lived. A baby's poor health can be difficult for both the baby and parents, but why then not try to have the baby and see what happens? Is a financial burden stopping the birth? Is physical disfigurement or dysfunction stopping the birth? Is this what the baby wants? Remember Special Games. It's not that God tests us with damaged babies, but He allows us to choose to love no matter what the cost. Who knows, He may choose us because he knows that we can care and love unhealthy babies. The question is, "do we have the faith and courage to find the strength and hope to be that kind of parent?" and Do we have the right to answer for those without a voice or who is unheard?"
As far as raped victims, I answered that in a previous e-mail. My aunt is a living example.
Bill Clinton passed the bill that allowed the partial abortion procedure. George Bush passed the bill to reverse the partial abortion law. Abortion is in the back of everyone's mind because everyone is concerned about our dead soldiers. But there is a study that calculated through the years that abortion (both legal and illegal) deaths total more than any war. (There's a Canadian Study on Youtube, hopefully it's not a sound byte). I'm not saying that the next president will pass a bill to allow it again, but it can be a possibility. And the sad thing is, that we do not include faith in our education system, except for
Christian Schools and other religious schools, to truly understand how and why a life lived is okay. And how often are we reminded of St. Gianna or the views on abortion and the positive option of life and how we can successfully live it? This topic seems like such a small deal nowadays compared to the war and the economy, which are big deals in our minds right now.
Sometimes we make decisions for the sake of convenience. Can abortion be convenient?
Which politicians can we trust to defend the unborn babies? I know there is a clinic in
Long Beach that does procedures. Tough choice.
This is why we pray for the babies being aborted, for our world leaders to make the right decisions, for parents to have the strength, hope, courage, and love, and the healing of the sick and handicapped.
...I don't usually evangelize, but if He calls me to share His Truth, then I must choose to. From Him through my fingers. Not for me..............
Have a blessed week,
Gary
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Happy birthday, Gary... God definitely knew what He was doing when He brought you into my life! I love you SO MUCH!!! =)
always,
Marianne
a p.s. to those reading...the baby in the first pic is Gary, not Meleana! See how much of a "junior" she is! =)
Will the spending on "family-planning services" help dig America out of its economic doldrums?
